Once more unto the breach…

The above headline may have had you spluttering over your chocolate fingers at breakfast this morning, but that quite frankly, should teach you to buy the Daily Mirror. This site and Stanley Victor Collymore have what could be described as form, and yet again, our intense admiration for Collymore the player, has degenerated into scorn for Stan the pundit.

Let’s take a closer look at today’s thoughts:

The Premier League is considered by many to be the best league in the world but I think drastic reform is needed to keep it at the pinnacle.

In some of the finest Schools of Journalism, they teach that a good way to indicate you are about to waste a few minutes of your reader’s time, is to make the opening sentence nonsensical, thus hinting to the reader to go and do something else. Here Stan delivers, pointing out that the success of the Premier League (which lies in its top-to-bottom competitiveness) could only be maintained by ditching any competition outside of who wins the thing. It’s the equivalent of Terry Leahy advocating Tesco stop pushing the food element so much.

Turning now to the hub of Stan’s argument:

And there would be no promotion or relegation which would allow those teams to grow.

No it would not. After all, with no threat of relegation, why should any chairman or team outside the top three make any effort to win the league, or even to improve? Why should fans care or go anymore? If a team is 10 points clear at the top by November, what interest is there for the rest of the season?

It would make a pleasant change from watching some of the smaller clubs in the Premier League in recent times like Reading, Wigan and Bolton.

Perhaps. So why write in the same column, “So there is very much a place for Stoke City in the top-flight and I have enormous respect for their wily manager Pulis.” Having never won a league or FA Cup, it seems unlikely Stoke would be there as one of the, “biggest and most successful sides in modern history.”

Fans around the world want to see the huge games - not clashes involving clubs like Barnsley, Watford or Hull.

A bit like arguing, that because the Sun is the biggest selling newspaper, people only want to have that one paper in their newsagents. And that we should close down the Mirror. Hang on a sec actually…

The Football League would still function if you are a Wigan or a Notts County or a smaller club.

Well Notts County, as the oldest club in the country, would probably stake a claim to being one of the clubs who have ”contributed the most over the last 100 years.”
In addition, the point is untrue. The only thing that keeps all four divisions going, is the hope for even the smallest teams, that one day, they may mix it with the big boys. Stymie that hope, and there is nothing left. Fact.

There is little precedent in other sports for the system of meritocracy if you look at the NFL.

Ah, the NFL. Well Stan, take a look at the global tv audience for Liverpool vs Manchester United yesterday, and compare that to the American Football at Wembley. The Premier League wins by a distance - so we shall take no lessons from the NFL thanks.

No further questions your honour. And Stan, we’ll still never forget that goal against Atletico Madrid. Even after all this.

Which nowadays is headline news

More as we get it, but Notts County have issued a statement informing the world that they have sacked Ian McParland, for having the temerity to drop points at home to Torquay yesterday.

So many questions. Where does that leave Sven? Is it a much-mooted return for David Platt? And if so, how much closer to Meadow Lane would ex Forest boss Platt had to have worked for County directors to realise what a terrible manager he is?

The players who didn’t earn their loyalty bonuses

As anyone who has ever divorced will testify, sometimes it is necessary to call time on a big commitment. Footballers who sign big money contracts are no strangers to this maxim, but some jump ship a little earlier than expected. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Ben Baker has compiled a top ten list of the shortest spells in football club history. And guess who tops the list…

Sol Campbell
After a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance at Meadow Lane and a quick team photo, the man whom Spurs fans lovingly refer to as ‘Judas’ picked up his boots and walked out on his £40,000-a-week contract. If he manages to stay fit and win his war with his own metabolism, perhaps a fleeting appearance in the MLS lies ahead for football’s least decisive man..

Ali Dia
A favourite story among football fans who are less than supportive of Graeme Souness (and let’s be honest, there are a fair few): after allegedly receiving a call from former World Footballer of the Year George Weah ‘bigging up’ his ‘cousin’, Souness signed him up without reservation. He even had the audacity to replace Sir Tiss with him. Dia was so dreadful that he was hauled off, lasting about 20 minutes. Oh well, Southampton’s loss was Gateshead’s gain…kind of.

Dietmar Hamann
After it appeared that Hamann was surplus to

Defender reveals sufficiently ridiculous excuse for departure

Having maintained radio silence for a couple of days after his shock one game exit from Notts County last week, Sol Campbell chose to explain himself yesterday in an exclusive interview with the News of the World. Most impressively, the defender managed to keep a straight face throughout:

I knew I would be the club’s first big signing but was told I would be the first of many. Names like Roberto Carlos and Benjani were mentioned - now that would have been a statement of intent. But, for whatever reason, it didn’t happen. And all I will say is that you know when people have money because things happen and they happen quickly.

‘Arry sends a wave of relief through the White Hart Lane faithful

Sol was unhelpful in the search for Jason Euell’s contact lens

In the weekly column that a Sun journalist writes for him, Harry Redknapp has today tackled the thorny issue of Sol Campbell’s future. The Tottenham boss has made no secret of his passionate admiration for the big centre back, and the rumour mills have been going into overdrive with suggestions that they are destined to work together once again.

Redknapp, however, has quelled the fears of Spurs fans who predicted World War III if Campbell ever returned, by claiming he will never call White Hart Lane home again:

Some people are already claiming I am now going to sign Sol.

Well, let’s nail that one straight away - it ain’t going to happen.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Before you peruse today’s links, check out the world’s longest basketball shot

The fans’ reaction to Sol Campbell’s Notts County walkout
[Betfair Football]

This week’s Football Drama update
[Interestment]

The top five bizarre Sol Campbell moments
[Off The Post]

Gary Neville’s passion is an example to us all, says Harry Redknapp
[Daily Mail]

Sheikh Mansour is now the sole owner of Manchester City
[MCFC]

Arsenal/Fulham/WestHam/Tottenham/Sunderland/etc target Marouane Chamakh will not be sold in January
[EatSleepSport]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Charlize Theron, Alyssa Milano and Will Ferrell bring some Hollywood glamour to the Chelsea/ Inter game
[Dirty Tackle]

Barcelona could build a new stadium in the sea. How fun!
[The Offside]

Notts County’s new director of football tops the list of Football’s Top Ten Mercenaries
[The Times]

After being roused from a mid-afternoon nap, Berbatov said he “thinks he can do better” next season
[Daily Mail]

Milan are after Nicklas Bendtner, say the Italian press
[Goal.com]

Some immature behaviour from the stands at Meadow Lane

We first heard about this incident on Sky Sports News last Thursday, and our friends at Off The Post have finally tracked it down. The Spion Kop end at Meadow lane should be thoroughly ashamed of itself for dropping a ‘C-Bomb’ on live television.