Mark Hughes’ side get a massive confidence boost in Spain
Barcelona 0/ Manchester City 1
Despite the support of 90,000 supporters and some keerrazzee limited edition shirts, European champions Barcelona lost the annual Juan Gamper Tournament to Manchester City last night.
Bulgarian Martin Petrov proved he is still alive with a first half strike that punished some terrible goalkeeping from a goalkeeper who nobody has ever heard of. Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s immeasurable talents were out in force, but in the end, the overrated Swede was simply too rubbish to put one past Shay Given.
Spoiler bonus: Elsewhere in friendly action, Real Madrid spanked Borussia Dortmund in front of 75,000 fans, but C-Ron failed to get on the scoresheet. Highlights after the jump…
Ibrahimovic receives a record breaking welcome in Spain
Barcelona have finally ended their search for a Swedish striker with incongruous tattoos and a tendency to bottle big games by securing the services of Zlatan Ibrahimovic this week. And as a Brucey Bonus, the Catalan giants sent that pesky Samuel Eto’o off to Inter Milan as part of the deal. Everybody wins!
To celebrate the arrival of their new striker, Barca fans turned out in force at his official unveiling last night. In the biggest player presentation in Barcelona history, a whopping 60,000 people piled into the Nou Camp to see the Swede turn up two hours late, say thank you, kiss a badge and do some keep ups.
When Ronaldinho was unveiled in 2004, just 20,000 fans turned up. Therefore, Ibrahimovic is exactly three times better than Ronaldinho in his prime. Fact.
The Barcelona star never wanted C-Ron at the Nou Camp, honest
The Barcelona party line is that they’re not ruffled by Real Madrid’s ridiculous summer spending spree. After all, it allows them to claim the moral high ground for “doing things the right way.”
However, Xavi broke rank today by launching a scathing attack on Cristiano Ronaldo, claiming that he wouldn’t have been welcome at the Nou Camp:
“I wouldn’t want him here. At Barca, we do not have room for players who fill gossip magazines.
“We are hard workers and sportsmen but he, on the other hand, is uncontrollable.
“We have a lot of desire to continue winning. The best player in the world is Lionel Messi and there’s no chance he will switch allegiance.”
The Spoiler found those unsporting comments very interesting, especially as Xavi had this to say about the world’s most expensive player last April:
“He could be a much better player if he was here, playing with us. I have a soft spot for him. I would love him to join us.
“Along with Lionel Messi, Ronaldo is the best player in the world. In fact he is in front of Leo in terms of influence in a game. The kid has everything.”
While the change in outlook might not be very subtle, The Spoiler almost admires the fact Xavi is so blinded by loyalty to Barcelona that someone he had “a soft spot for” became a lost cause the second he joined Real Madrid.
Barcelona 0/ Chelsea 0
We’re not calling Guus Hiddink a liar, but the lying Dutchman promised us balls-out, attacking football at the Nou Camp. Instead, Chelsea put up the barricades, virtually refusing to play football from the outset.
Perhaps they were deliberately playing for a draw, or perhaps they were attempting an experimental technique of letting the opposition have the ball so much that they tired themselves out. Either way, Blues fans couldn’t have asked for much more when facing the Catalan giants at home.
By the way, a man named Leo Messi went completely missing at half time. If anyone saw an Argentinean who looks great in pants after around 8.45pm, please let us know.
Chelsea dent ‘Pool’s Euro dream, Barca makes Bayern look rubbish
Liverpool 1/ Chelsea 3
Whoa! Who saw this scoreline coming? When Nando put the Reds ahead after six minutes, it looked as if Liverpool were on course for another famous Champions league evening. However, Michael Essien kept Steven Gerrard locked in a cage all night, and Guus Hiddink’s tactical nous prevailed.
Barcelona 4/ Bayern Munich 0
Well, that lucky sausage didn’t do the German’s much good, did it? Last night’s game at the Nou Camp was virtually over after fifteen minutes, leaving gaffer Jurgen Klinsmann in an uncharacteristically humble mood: “It shows that we’ve still got a lot of work to do to be in Europe’s top four.”
Undeterred by national culinary stereotypes, Bayern Munich cast a pork-based curse on Barcelona
In the minds of Bayern Munich fans, the Nou Camp is not a lucky venue: the famous Catalan stadium hosted the 1999 Champions league final that saw the Germans dramatically piss away the title to Manchester Utd.
Their fortunes at the hallowed stadium, however, are about to change.
Taking inspiration from the cheeky Boston Red Sox fans who buried one of their jerseys under the new Yankee Stadium, Bild have hidden a ‘Glücks-Weisswurst’ (’Lucky White Sausage’) beneath one of the corner
Spanish striker says the atmosphere won’t affect Real Madrid
When Juande Ramos claimed that the massively overhyped “famous Anfield roar” would have no effect on Real Madrid, it was widely considered to be a petty mind-game but his opinion has been backed up by Fernando Torres.
The Real Madrid boss said that visiting Liverpool would be no more special than experiencing the Bernabeu, Nou Camp or San Siro and his compatriot Torres has agreed that the home crowd won’t have much of an impact. He said:
“Anfield is special, but they won’t fear the scenery. The players of Madrid have played in the better stadiums, in the better competitions and it’s not going to impress them.”
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