While everyone’s been distracted by the Tevez stuff, things have happened…
If anyone is proof that being a footballer makes your life tremendous, it’s Owen Hargreaves. Such a straight-faced young midfielder, were he not brilliant at sport, he has the look of a man who would mumble profanities about his boring office job, and down pints at the weekend until he was set to pass out. As it is, he gets to play for Man United, and when he’s not doing that he’s sprawled naked on satin sheets with only Zabeena Harris (pictured) for company. She is a present day model, who has been seen out and about in her pants (thanks Kickette). She’s his girlfriend.
Elsewhere in the world, Danielle Bux is getting all pumped up about her upcoming wedding to MOTD’s Ringo Starr look-a-like, Gary Lineker. A gaggle of grown men with big paparazzi cameras have been sprinting around after her as she makes various decisions about what gift demands she should make of her guests.
On Monday, a DVD celebrating Ryan Giggs’ illustrious 17-year career will be released, and in celebration a premiere of the film was held in Manchester. Carlos Tevez, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wes Brown, Rio Ferdinand, Anderson, Nani, Patrice Evra, Nemanja Vidic, Park Ji-Sung, Dimitar Berbatov, Owen Hargreaves, Jonny Evans, John O’Shea and Michael Carrick all walked the carpet rocking a snazzy jeans/ white shirt/ blazer combo in honour of the Welshman. Rio even augmented his outfit with a cravat, making him look dead sophisticated.
Celebrity fans Angus Deyton, Peter Hook and monkey man Ian Brown also turned out, but those reinforced crowd barriers were severly tested by the cream of Manchester’s acting talent, including True Red narrator Ralf Little, Will Mellor, Max Beesley and Corrie’s Kevin Webster.
Proof that clubs are willing to pay much more for domestic goods
The national team couldn’t muster the will to qualify for Euro 2008, but somehow clubs continue to demand mega money for home grown talent. With David Bentley costing a princely sum, Gareth Barry’s non-negotiable fee and Andy Johnson’s imminent trade, it’s clear that players are far too expensive if they were born on this tiny island.
Hence, we think the time is right to consider ten of the most overpriced Englishman currently plying their trade in the Premier League, comparing their lofty prices with some better value foreign equivalents…
Shaun Wright-Phillips
Manchester City were heartbroken to lose their star player to Chelsea, but in hindsight getting £21 million was fantastic business. Four league goals in three seasons compared to ten in his last year at Citeh highlights his failure to step up. Foreign equivalent: Amantino Mancini to Inter - £10 million
Owen Hargreaves £17 million might not have been too steep for a 26-year-old midfielder, but his failure to dislodge Michael Carrick, his predecessor in the overpriced stakes, shows he has yet to live up to his price-tag. Foreign equivalent: Yaya Toure to Barcelona - just over £7 million
Scott Parker
The midfielder moved from Charlton to Chelsea to Newcastle and then to West Ham for a combined fee of £23.5 million, but has still managed just three England caps. Injury limited Parker to 17 league starts last season, meaning West Ham are yet to receive value for their £7 million investment. Foreign equivalent: Tim Cahill to Everton - £1.5 million
Dave Kitson
The ginger striker’s invaluable contribution to Reading’s relegation battle was
Why you shouldn’t tie your shoe when ol’ Goldenballs is about
Thanks to Matt for the superb Sporno spot. If you have seen any sport/ porn crossovers, send them to us and we will help you beat the credit crunch by furnishing you with ten shiny pounds.