The only Chelsea that’s welcome at Fratton Park

Portsmouth’s Marc Wilson was born in Northern Ireland and played for Northern Ireland U-15s, but made the switch to the Republic side at U-18s level. Not only has he had the fortune to represent two nations at his chosen sport, but he has also managed to persuade extremely good looking Page Three girl and glamour model Chelsea White to go out with him. Luck of the Irish, we suppose.

The Page 3 hottie who (allegedly) caught Rio’s attention

As we established yesterday, Rio Ferdinand has been with his partner Rebecca Ellison for over seven years, they have two children and they are due to wed this year with the assistance of a barn owl. However, the Manchester Utd star/ rapper/ actor/ online publisher/ film producer/ merking specialist is alleged to have played away from home on numerous occasions. One adulterous stint is said to have occurred with Holly McGuire, an Essex glamour model and Page 3 girl.

The model who has a frosty relationship with clothing

Those who have ever seen a copy of The Sun, a lads mag or a computer with internet access will be well acquainted with Keeley Hazell. The UK’s most celebrated topless model isn’t a fully fledged WAG, but qualifies on the grounds of an incident concerning Joe Cole in 2006.

The engaged Chelsea star was attending a party at Miss Hazell’s Grove Park home, and was allegedly set upon by a love rival who also had eyes for the sexy hostess. Cole was badly beaten, and lost his shoes, money and phone - a punishment most chaps would happily endure in exchange for an invite to one of Keeley’s parties.

Winger continues to juggle two hot ladies

Trying to keep up to date with Jermaine Pennant’s love life is like like trying to keep up with a Formula One car on foot.

Here’s the story so far: In 2007, the Portsmouth loan star was living with Page Three girl Amii Grove, until she caught him rutting another lady on his own CCTV cameras.

Soon after, the drink driving fan hooked up with Jennifer Metcalfe, also known as the  unscrupulous Mercedes McQueen in Hollyoaks.

The couple soon split, at which point Pennant proposed to former flame Amii Grove in a graveyard. Despite causing £200,000 worth of damage when she orginally split with him, the topless model agreed to be his wife.

Things didn’t work out with his Page 3 fiance, and they split last month.

Now, The Daily Mail report that the Hollyoaks hottie is giving Pennant yet another try:

Footballer Jermaine Pennant was back in the arms of Hollyoaks actress Jennifer Metcalfe on Valentine’s Day, shortly after splitting from page three model Amii Grove.

Jermaine called of his engagement with Amii, admitting he ‘couldn’t give her what she wants’.

The pair were seen together holding hands and queuing to get into the Funky Buddha nightclub in London’s plush Mayfair.

Thinking about this bizarre love triangle too much is enough to cause a brain aneurysm, so we’ll let Daily Mail commenter Adam sum things up: “They’re all as stupid as each other..I just hope they never breed.”

Jungle Queen captured by our friends at Nuts

For those unfamiliar the worlds of Waggery and/or brain-rotting reality shows, the underdressed lady on the right goes by the name Nicola McLean.

Mrs Tommy Williams (Peterborough Utd) is currently stranded in Australian outback taking part in I’m a Celebrity, spending her days fending off kangaroo testicles, Kilroy and ITV prodcuers desperately try to think of ways to make her take more showers.

Before she set off, she did a fine job of posing for weekly gentleman’s periodical Nuts, the fruits of which may be seen after the jump…

The sexiest non league supporting lady you’re ever likely to see

Playboy bunny and Page 3 girl Gemma Hiles used to boast of being squired around her native Lancashire by Daniel Alston, the luckiest member of Preston Wanderers (who are currently playing in the lowly Preston and District Football League Premier Division). The handsome blonde now lives in foggy London town, where she enjoys attending nightclubs wearing next to nothing, and performing with two other pneumatic ladies in a troupe called the Diamondettes (I say “troupe” rather than “band”, as they don’t appear to indulge in any kind of musical activity).

Her MySpace relationship status suggests her relationship with Mr Alston has extinguished, but it is surely only a matter of time before Jermain Defoe works his magic…

Playboy model who’s tired of her domestic duties

Prior to marrying fugly ex professional footballer Neil Ruddock, Leah Newman was a glamour girl socialite who made oodles of cash hawking her wares in publications such as The Daily Sport during the day, and spent her evenings in London WAG haunts such as Chinawhites. After the birth of their daughter Izzabella Ivy Grace Ruddock, however, things took a rather boring turn, and on an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap in 2007, she admitted her life was ‘crap’. She feels like a prisoner in her Hastings home, while Ruddock, who was never the fastest player on the pitch, is happy with their lethargic lifestyle:

“I could sleep all day, get up and have me dinner, then go back to sleep again.”

Electronics company find ingenious way to sell HD teles

Like most sane people, we don’t tend to promote advertisements for which we are not getting paid, but an exception should probably made for this effort from Samsung. Not only does it feature Page Three girls knocking Peta Todd (stupid name) and Nikkala Stott knocking a ball about in lingerie, but huge excitable teddy bear Chris Kamara also puts in an appearance.

The football skills may be a little fraudulent, and the premise of Page Three top-shedder Danni Wells sharing a couch with CK (who I believe is a married man) is slightly implausible, but whatever. It takes my mind off of my life.