Hollyoaks star is back with the Kop love rat

Jermaine Pennant’s name was mud in the WAG community after Page Three girl Amii Grove revealed his dishonourable ways last year. Despite this, he has managed to wangle his way right back into the upper echelons of female hotness, this time with actress Jennifer Metcalfe. The pair officially split up in January, but the Bradford-born beauty recently told the News of the World they are back together and ‘very happy’.

Page Three girl returns to the top flight with a brand new partner

Nicola Tappenden (or ‘Nicola T, 25, from Croydon’, as you may know her) enjoyed the WAG lifestyle for two years with West Ham’s Bobby Zamora, but in 2007 she finally she packed up the giant picture of her breasts that hung above their bed, accusing the striker of being unfaithful. This season, however, Nicola will be making a glorious return to the Premiership on the arm of Hull City fiancé Simon Walton. [Looks like she won’t be back in the Prem just yet, as Walton’s loan spell at Hull has just ended - Ed.]

Electronics company find ingenious way to sell HD teles

Like most sane people, we don’t tend to promote advertisements for which we are not getting paid, but an exception should probably made for this effort from Samsung. Not only does it feature Page Three girls knocking Peta Todd (stupid name) and Nikkala Stott knocking a ball about in lingerie, but huge excitable teddy bear Chris Kamara also puts in an appearance.

The football skills may be a little fraudulent, and the premise of Page Three top-shedder Danni Wells sharing a couch with CK (who I believe is a married man) is slightly implausible, but whatever. It takes my mind off of my life.