Ryan Giggs: True Red pulls out all the stars

On Monday, a DVD celebrating Ryan Giggs’ illustrious 17-year career will be released, and in celebration a premiere of the film was held in Manchester. Carlos Tevez, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wes Brown, Rio Ferdinand, Anderson, Nani, Patrice Evra, Nemanja Vidic, Park Ji-Sung, Dimitar Berbatov, Owen Hargreaves, Jonny Evans, John O’Shea and Michael Carrick all walked the carpet rocking a snazzy jeans/ white shirt/ blazer combo in honour of the Welshman. Rio even augmented his outfit with a cravat, making him look dead sophisticated.

Celebrity fans Angus Deyton, Peter Hook and monkey man Ian Brown also turned out, but those reinforced crowd barriers were severly tested by the cream of Manchester’s acting talent, including True Red narrator Ralf Little, Will Mellor, Max Beesley and Corrie’s Kevin Webster.

Liam Fray of The Courteneers said:

No no no, this can’t be right…

In his long impressive managerial career, Sir Alex Ferguson has fashioned himself as a ferocious Braveheart figure, ruling his kingdom with an iron fist tucked inside a gorgeous velvet glove. And he’s had no problem slamming it down on player’s hopes and dreams - just look at Stam, van Nistelrooy, Beckham. He even dropped his lapdog Steve Bruce from an FA Cup final team.

So what was the hardest decision he’s had to make at United? The one which keeps him up late into the night, chewing rabidly on his gum? Leaving Park Ji-Sung out of the squad for last season’s Champions League final, of course.

“In many ways it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, because Ji-Sung had played such a great part in the previous games against Roma and Barcelona,” spluttered the maroon-nosed Scot. Obviously lying.

Hey, Sir Alex, you know what else was a mistake? Letting Jordi go.