Carling Cup finalists celebrate with ex-WAGs and a little too much drink

Last night Chelsea managed to join Spurs in the Carling Cup semi-final, and players from both teams joined forces with a celebratory night out at London’s Chinawhite. Pictured above is Jermain Defoe, who has no problem with wearing a baseball cap in a nightclub, or sharing a cab with a lady who looks like she charges by the hour.

Jermain’s WAG Danielle Lloyd was noticeably

She sounds posh, but her public steamrollering habits say otherwise

The night before England’s crucial qualifying match with Croatia at Wembley, the England squad stayed at the Grove Hotel in Watford, whose decor is more akin to a knocking shop than a top-class hotel. The same day, a group of models were attending a photoshoot for breast cancer awareness at the hotel, and the paths of ‘soccer ace’ Alan Smith and Sophie Bovington-Kerr collided. In a

Except for Torres, who couldn’t be bothered

Liverpool’s December Christmas party was postponed when Stevie G allowed masked intruders to burgle his home and terrify his wife. To make up for the celebration-halting gaff, he pulled out all the stops at the rescheduled event with some thoroughly over-the-top prosthetics.

Having dressing as a parrot last year, Peter Crouch let us a little further into his subconscious bird obsession by dressing as a penguin. Which bird next year, Pete? Falcon? Budgie?

Daniel Agger’s homage to the punk greats such as Good Charlotte showed effort, as did Steve Finnan’s Beetlejuice and Sami Hyypia’s strange

Did nobody tell them it’s the middle of January?

OK! Magazine held it’s strangely belated New Years party at the Embassy Club in London last night, and several of our favourite WAGs stepped out to celebrate their nonebrity and lack of contribution to society:

Here’s Alex Curran, stepping out in a delightful skirt that she obtained from a lampshade in my parent’s house in 1986.

And here’s Jermain Defoe’s ex, sly-as-a-fox Charlotte Mears. The blonde model is obviously trying to fool use with her cunning disguise, yet we’d recognise that newly-acquired depression-halting chest of hers.