Mrs Pato displays exemplary ‘netiquette’

The centre pages of today’s Sun newspaper are dedicated to the ‘Internet sex epidemic’ that is gripping Britain: apparently, people are cheating on their partners, finding new ones and getting unhealthily addicted to porn at an alarming rate. While the red top focuses on the negatives of online relationships, The Spoiler will look at the one gleaming positive: it is this huge bunch of wires and servers that allowed AC Milan star Pato to make contact with prospective girlfriend Stephany Brito. The Brazilian soap actress accepted his e-vite, and their romance has since blossomed into one where they actually see and touch each other.

Sadly for Arsenal, they’re not so frightened any more

AC Milan are the owners of Pato, the latest Brazilian wonderchild playing in Europe (although not the latest wonderchild playing in Brazil - he’s called Neymar, is 16, and has a sell-on clause in his contract of just 85 million euros). Not so long ago, Milan were so scared that Arsene Wenger, with his all-seeing eye and talent for luring youngsters, was about to come round with the sweeties that - well let’s have the Mail tell the story…

“Having overcome malignant cancer aged only 10, Pato was educated in Porto Alegre, the same city as Ronaldinho, and played for Internacional, where he soon appeared on Arsene Wenger’s radar.