As Spurs fans jauntily swagger down the street, whistling the Champions League theme tune, and Everton supporters sit hunched in their garages considering their very existence, its worth remembering that the Opening Day is often as misleading as a blood substitution in rugby union.
There may be plenty of examples of markers being laid down for the entire season on day one, but Spoiler correspondent Eliot Pollak recalls five matches which prove that even a blind hen pecks the odd bit of corn.
19th August 1995
Aston Villa 3 Manchester United 1
The apotheosis of opening day anomalies. First half goals from Ian Taylor, Mark Draper and Dwight Yorke saw the Holte End bouncing with optimism, while Alan Hansen told the nation later on Match of the Day that Fergie’s summer boot sale of Paul Ince, Mark Hughes and Andrei Kanchelskis was unlikely to bring success. “You win nothing with kids,” deadpanned Hansen, turning up his nose at Beckham, Scholes, the Neville brothers and Nicky Butt.
By May, United had won the double, and the stunning 25 yard consolation a certain Mr D.Beckham whacked in at Villa Park that afternoon, was soon to be his trademark.
17th August 1996
Coventry City 0 Nottingham Forest 3
Frank Clark certainly wasn’t one of the most charismatic of Premier League managers, but he proved competent, at least until the 1996-97 season. A Kevin Campbell hat-trick and stellar performances from summer signings Dean Saunders and Nikola Jerkan more than accounted for Big Fat Ron’s Coventry City. The Sky Blues were booed from the pitch, and Atkinson’s wisdom in splashing out £3m on the 31-year-old Gary McAllister was cast into question by the following day’s press reports.
Forest ended the season bottom, and even worse, with Harry Bassett in charge. Campbell only scored three more league goals the entire season, whilst Coventry, as always in the 90s, survived on the final day.
7th August 1999
Chelsea 4 Sunderland 0
An unusually early start to the Premiership season,
Ian Wright has stuck his neck on the line and predicted that Liverpool will win each of their remaining eight Premier League games to win the title this season. The Spoiler disagrees. Liverpool haven’t won eleven consecutive league matches in a season since 1982 and here’s why every single remaining game has banana-skin potential:
Fulham away - The Cottagers’ home form is the fourth-best in the Premier League and they have won two of their last three against Liverpool at Craven Cottage. They have already beaten Manchester United and Arsenal there this season and drew with Chelsea.
Blackburn home - Since Sam Allardyce succeeded Paul Ince, Blackburn have lost just four out of eighteen games.
Arsenal home - The Gunners are unbeaten in sixteen Premier League games and have yet to lose against fellow Big Four sides this season.
Hull away - Liverpool have drawn their last two away games against newly-promoted teams: Birmingham at the end of last season and Stoke in January.
Newcastle home - Joe Kinnear will be back in charge by then and
If you type “Neil Warnock takes the blame” into Google, about 90% of the results are examples of the former Sheffield United manager passing the buck to either his players, the referee, an authority or the biased Southern media.
This week the Crystal Palace boss was again pointing the finger by claiming that he would still be a Premier League manager right now if it wasn’t for Carlos Tevez, meaning he should be entitled to compensation.
After being knocked back by Kaka and his ilk, it’s becoming clear that Manchester City will have to build their team of superstars from those who hold a big day in greater regard than loyalty and dignity.
Perhaps Robinho, Craig Bellamy and co should look at the example set by Athletic Bilbao’s Joseba Exteberría. The Basque legend - who has notched up over 400 appearances for Athletic Club since 1995 - recently signed a one-year extension to his contract that will see him play for free.
The Spaniard won’t go to sleep tonight on a huge pile of money surrounded by beautiful women (isn’t that what most Premier League stars do?), but he will have earned a helluva lot more respect from the European football community.
With this in mind, take a look at The Spoiler’s Mercenary XI. And before all the City fans start getting their sky blue knickers in a twist, no players from the blue side of Manchester made the cut…
Carlo Cudicini
Cudicini might frown at his inclusion in a list containing such a disloyal and greedy bunch, but we struggled to find a true mercenary to stick between the sticks. Cudicini gets the honour, however, as a player rivaling former Chelsea colleague Winston Bogarde for lack of ambition. Before the arrival of Petr Cech in 2004, Cudicini was Chelsea’s first choice shot stopper and one of the best keepers in the league (acknowledged by his ITV Premiership Goalkeeper of the season award for 2003/04). Since Cech has displaced him as first choice and now the Italian only manages a handful of appearances a season. Chelsea’s number two keeper should have more ambition than collecting a wage for bench warming - a man of his talents would make a decent number one at most European clubs.
Pascal Chimbonda
Chimbonda put in a transfer request at Wigan Athletic straight after the final whistle of their last game of the 2005/06 season, earning him a move – and a pay rise - with Spurs. Last January the Sun reported that he told pals, “Kevin Keegan has approached me and they’ve offered me more money. I am definitely leaving Spurs. It’s all about the money. I don’t care about the final, I don’t care about the cup.” He got his wish joining Sunderland in the summer, and he is now engineering a move away from the Black Cats, with Lyon a touted destination.
Winston Bogarde
Following spells at Barcelona and AC Milan, Winston Bogarde joined Chelsea in 2000. After Gianluca Vialli was replaced, however, he found himself surplus to requirements. Chelsea were keen to offload him but no one would match his £40,000 wages and Bogarde was reluctant to take a pay cut. “Why should I throw fifteen million euros away when it is already mine? At the moment I signed it was in fact my money, my contract,” he protested. He sat it out in the reserves for four years and continued to train with either the youth or reserve teams, safe in the knowledge he would still receive his pocket money. When his contract expired, with 11 appearances in four years and a reputation as the greediest and least ambitious man in football, he retired after a lack of interest in his services. Bogarde clearly has no qualms about his time in West London: “I may be one of the worst buys in the history of the Premiership, but I don’t care”.
Former gaffer is the current favourite for the Rovers gig
Paul Emerson Carlyle Ince today became the sixth Premier League manager to leave their post this season, in the process saving what was in danger of being a chronically slow news day (front page of The Sun: Benitez’s kidney stones; back page of The Sun: Capello wants the Wembley grass shorter). Here are the leading contenders to replace the Guv’nor at Ewood Park according to chickendinner:
Graeme Souness (best price: 5/2 with Paddy Power)
Souness took the club back into the Premier League and won the League Cup during his first spell as manager between 2000 and 2004 and starts as the early favourite to regain the position after newspaper reports over the last few days linked him to the post. He walked out of the club four years ago for Newcastle after a winless start which left Rovers in the relegation zone, and at the time it was rumoured that Souness had jumped before he was pushed.
Sam Allardyce (best price: 3/1 general)
In case you haven’t read a newspaper since January, Sam Allardyce is pretty interested in finding himself a job and having previously overachieved without spending much money at Bolton, he is a strong candidate. However, Blackburn opted for Ince over more experienced candidates like Allardyce and Steve McClaren in the summer so Big Sam may bear a grudge.
Alan Curbishley (best price: 10/1 with Paddy Power)
Two years ago Curbishley took charge of a West Ham team
In a poll held last week, 51 per cent of Spoiler readers said Paul Ince wouldn’t make it to Christmas at Blackburn, and the slight majority were proved right today as the club let him go after just six months in charge.
Ince left his last job at Franchise FC because of his success, and has argued that he should have had more time to turn things around at Blackburn. After six consecutive defeats, however, Chairman John Williams argued that the club were in danger of “becoming detached from the pack.”
The same names that were touted for the Sunderland job have been mentioned for the opening at Ewood Park: Graeme Souness, Curbs, Sam “somebody please give me a job” Allardyce and Avram Grant. Some have even speculated that Tugay could graduate to the hot seat, or that Mr Analysis Alan Shearer could be given his first managerial role.
We think Alan Curbishley would be well suited to the role - do you agree? Let us know…
The richest club in the world are closer to breaking the bottom three than the Big Four
At the start of the season everyone was discussing the impact Sir Alex Ferguson’s protégés were going to make in the Premier League but less than halfway into the season, almost all of them have struggled.
Steve Bruce is the exception and his Wigan team are ninth but Roy Keane left Sunderland, who won 4-0 today, in the relegation zone while Paul Ince has gone eleven games without a win and is five points from safety with a Blackburn team that finished seventh last season.
But the one who has almost slipped under the radar is Mark Hughes. Obviously Manchester City’s chances of relegation are minimal considering they will spend big next month. However, Hughes inherited a team that finished tenth last season and spent close to £80 million over the summer so to be just two points above the drop, a gap Newcastle could eradicate with victory tomorrow, is clearly unacceptable.
Hughes won just two of his first fourteen games in charge of Blackburn before establishing himself as one of the country’s most promising young managers so should Manchester City give him time or is he simply the wrong man to take the Citizens to the next level? Let us know with a vote and comment below:
Last week, we asked Spoiler readers whether Roy Keane would still be at the club in 2009. Despite resounding support in the poll, the very next day, he was clearing his desk. Not wishing to tempt fate, today we want to know if Paul Ince will last the festive period. Blackburn were handed their fifth straight defeat at the weekend, and the gaffer is getting dangerously close to growing a beard - a perilous move for a manager under fire.
If Ince fails to get results in forthcoming ties with Wigan and Stoke, his chances of being in gainful employment in the new year are mighty slim. What are your thoughts? Let us know below…
Loading ...