Stephen Bywater chooses the perfect time to prank a teammate
At the start of the season, morale at Derby County was so low that players were willing to sneak through windows if it meant escaping Paul Jewell’s regime. That’s all changed under Nigel Clough though. Robbie Savage is a first-team regular again having been sent to Brighton on loan earlier this season and his teammates are delighted to have him back. Stephen Bywater decided to show his love for the Welshman by showering him with drink live on Sky Sports News. Be sure to check out Savage’s face as he realises what’s about to happen but has nowhere to run.
Sheffield United’s successful tribunal ruling against West Ham could cost the Hammers £30m in compensation, and it also sets a dangerous precedent for results on the pitch being overruled by men in suits. The Spoiler decided to examine other potential footballing matters that could end up being settled by lawyers:
1) Watford miss out on the play-offs by a point
The Football League have decided there will be no replay of Saturday’s Watford/Reading match, despite the fact that the Royal’s opener was clearly not a goal. If Watford end up finishing just outside the play-off places, or if Reading wind up just inside them - does that give Watford the right to sue the Football League, the referee and the linesman?
2) Germany claim the 1966 World Cup
Sheffield United were able to win their case relying predominantly on ‘what ifs’, rather than solid facts. Imagine how successful a Germany appeal could be when they have digitally-enhanced evidence that Geoff Hurst’s second goal didn’t cross the line - another example of West Ham cheating!
3) England gain passage to the 1986 World Cup semi-finals
Maybe England could compensate for losing that World Cup by sueing Argentina for Diego Maradona’s
As ever, there was no time last night to revel in the joy of a Paul Scholes stonker, because while football is being played, behind the scenes people in dark suits are having business meetings, and those meetings are very important - they include “guesstimates” and “sushi”. Here’s what may or may not have been talked about in some of those sweaty deep-into-the-night think tanks:
Kamel Ghilas to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger’s team of dehydrated football forragers have once again resurfaced in their mining helmets with soil on their faces muttering like crazy people about an Algerian man called Kamel. At the moment he plays casual football for Portuguese side Vitoria Guimaraes, but next season he looks set to be entertaining Arsenal crowds, who love sexual football and Cesc Fabregas.
Antonio Valencia and Wilson Palacios to Manchester United
Yes, Ferguson will be on the hunt for bright young talents, currently dominating other first teams, to strengthen his reserves, and these two might be just the ticket. They do it week in, week out for Wigan, but can they do it perhaps once every three/four months for United when Nani, Anderson, Carrick, Hargreaves, Scholes, Ronaldo, Giggs, O’Shea, and Fletcher are all injured? Or it’s the Carling Cup?
Derby gaffer challenges midfielder to race and wins
It’s the kind of bet that an older boy in the playground would make with you to expose your naivety, yet Paul Jewell managed to out-fox midfielder Giles Barnes with his tricky semantics:
“I raced him for £100 and he lost,” Jewell explained.
“I said to him: ‘Listen Giles, this is where you have to learn the game, so I will
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