Brazilian’s possessions purloined while on Champions League duty

Last December, Alex Curran had a terrifying encounter with armed robbers who broke into her home while her husband was diving playing away in Marseille, marking the sixth occasion in eighteen months that a Liverpool star’s home security had been breached. The Spoiler’s crack team of sleuths predicted that John Arne Riise would be the next man in a red shirt to suffer a break in (his rogue payslip, bankruptcy and apparent willingness to part with his Champions League medal to show casual attitude to materialism), yet he managed to escape to Rome unburglarised.

In place of the ginger Norwegian, young Brazilian Lucas Leiva has had his home ransacked, with thieves making off with an Olympic bronze medal, some Brazil shirts and a huge “swag” bag full of “treasured memories”.

Timid ref given opportunity to punish home fans

Ahead of tonight’s match at Vicente Calderón Stadium, Danish referee Claus Bo Larsen has been encouraged by UEFA to call the game to a halt if the racist abuse that blighted Atletico Madrid’s last European home game against Marseilles reoccurs.

This morning on talkSPORT, fellow Dane Peter Schmeichel hinted that Larsen is the type of rule-abiding official who would have the nerve to call off proceedings if the fans misbehave. However, a little research on the table tennis-loving customs clearance ref suggests he is happy to steer clear of controversy and the spotlight: in the last ten years he has issued just 99 yellow cards and has failed to pull out a single red.

Also, it’s not quite clear what would happen if the game is called off - would Liverpool be awarded automatic victory? If so, the temptation

Mental keeper gets a speeding fine

During Euro 2008, Pepe Reina proved to us that he cannot conduct himself appropriately on a plane, and yesterday he was charged for being unable to keep his Porsche 911 under the speed limit. For tearing his £70k motor down a suburban Liverpool street in December, the handsomely remunerated star was charged a whopping £250. The judge said:

“Although you are a man of significant means I see no reason why the penalty should be disproportionate.”

Pepe employed Nick Freeman, nicknamed Mr Loophole for allowing celebrities to get away with misdemeanours. Perhaps he should have used Damien Duff’s postal scam instead.

Liverpool keeper takes delivery of a lot of booze

In a football world of psychoanalysis, dieticians and GPS player tracking, it is nice to hear of an initiative which rewards successful fat players and urges them to pile a few more pounds on. Brewer Cruzcampo, sponsor of the Spanish national football team, promised each member of the country’s Euro 2008 squad their weight in beer if they made it past the quarter-finals of the competition.

Since the players came home with the trophy, yesterday it was time for Cruzcampo to deliver on their promise. The players attended a special weigh-in to see exactly how much beer they were entitled to. And tipping the scales at 95kg, the heaviest player in the squad was Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina. Little Santi Cazorla received considerably less beer despite the fact he is more in need of fattening up than Reina.

The squad took home 5,200 bottles of beer in total.

Ok guys, you won. We get it.

There’s only one thing worse than being sat between Naomi Campbell and Liam Gallagher on an aeroplane, and it is depicted above.

Having Pepe Reina scream in your face (about how great he was in that game against Greece that didn’t count for anything), while forcing flight stewardesses to dance the Macarena does not rate highly on the list of life’s simple pleasures.

Also, why do Spanish players insist on wearing their team shirts in non-footballing social situations? Surely they’ve all got enough cash to pick up some new threads to wear to the bar?

[Pies]

Does the WAG hold the key to the pilfering mystery?

Jack The Ripper, the Zodiac murders, the sandwich that was stolen from the Spoiler’s fridge last week – all unsolved crimes that have dominated the agendas of law enforcement officers the world over.

The latest mystery to plague their thoughts is the Liverpool burglaries – last night Stevie G became the sixth player in eighteen months to have his home ransacked while he was out of the country. His WAG Alex Curran was