Because they can’t play Blackburn every week

Like a hospital patient on suicide watch, Chelsea won’t be allowed near the window any time soon. Yet despite thumping Blackburn Rovers on Saturday, Chelsea have confirmed that they will now appeal to the confusingly-ordered CAS (Court of Sport Arbitration,) over their year-long transfer ban. In so doing, the resultant delay ensures their ability to do business this January, but does risk an extension of the ban if the Court deem their appeal to lack foundation.

This risk demonstrates that Carlo Ancelotti has concluded that his team still need enforcing in January. Knowing his wallet may soon start to gather cobwebs, and needing to keep up with the Abu Dhabi crew up North, Roman Abramovic will be under big pressure to do some pretty heavy spending.

So who is Ancelotti eyeing? Goalkeepers will certainly be an area of interest, as might centre-half, due to the continuing problems of Petr Cech and Ricardo Carvalho respectively. The African Cup of Nations will certainly be in mind too, and hence backup for Drogba will be handy. Of course, the imminent transfer ban, that consequentially could even last beyond the original two windows should this appeal fail, will also be a factor. With a year of transfer famine potentially on its way, expect players to be hoarded like tamiflu in a house full of hypocondriacs, and possibly loaned back for six months, or even a year.  Arrivals could hence be staggered like the conventional transfer window system, even were Chelsea to play no part in it.

Chelsea fans - who would you like to see arrive in January? Let us know below…

English sides secure victories in Europe

Chelsea 1/ Porto 0
The Blues didn’t exactly carry themselves with the confidence that has allowed them to steamroll through Premiership opposition so far this season, but they claimed a vital three points against their Portuguese visitors thanks to an impressive finish from Nicolas Anelka. Porto’s Hulk tried his best to beat Petr Cech, but the tabloid headline writers were ultimately denied a hilarious pun.

Besiktas 0/ Manchester Utd 1
There were frayed tempers on and off the pitch over in Turkey: Wayne Rooney threw his boots down in fury when he was pulled off for a Fit & Healthy striker just after the hour mark, and appeared to share a few choice words with vitriolic home fans who had to be restrained by stewards. It probably won’t go down as a classic, but Paul Scholes did enough to secure an important away victory.

Spoiler bonus: Cristiano Ronaldo was firing on all cylinders in Zurich, bagging a confidence-boosting brace of free kicks. Check it out after the jump…

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Fabian Assmann to Chelsea
Goalkeeper Assmann - whose WAG Melina Pitra happens to have a very nice, er, personality - has been linked with a £4m move to Stamford Bridge by the Argentinean press.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Such an offer would almost certainly be snapped up by Assmann’s current club Independiente, but the move will probably depend on how much faith the next Blues manager places in Petr Cech.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Real Madrid
Despite his proven ability to remain completely anonymous in big games, Real Madrid remain

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Heurelho Gomes to Chelsea
“Chelsea Cech out Spurs keeper Gomes as blunder boy Petr heads for Stamford Bridge exit,” claims a headline on the Daily Mail website.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: A very unlikely transfer with a fickle headline. The English press have lauded Petr Cech as the best goalkeeper in the world for years but one high-profile mistake has turned him into a “blunder boy”. Meanwhile Heurelho Gomes, who the media not long ago treated as a laughing stock is now considered good enough for Chelsea.

Carlos Tevez to someone wealthy
Tevez’s two-year loan ends this summer and despite previously expressing a desire to stay at Old Trafford, the Argentine is reportedly annoyed at never starting important games. Chelsea, Manchester City, Inter Milan, Juventus and

The better half of Chelsea’s number one

Upon first glance, Martina Cechova appears to hail from the Czech Republic (a nation that has offered the world many fine WAGs). However, Petr Cech’s wife of over five years was actually born in London in 1982. Currently, she lives in Weybridge with the headguard-loving keeper and their one-year-old daughter Adélka.

German’s role in Scolari’s demise has been  greatly exaggerated

Anyone who picked up a copy of The Times this morning could be forgiven for thinking that Michael Ballack has been patting himself of the back after supposedly persuading Roman Abramovich that Luiz Felipe Scolari was the wrong man for the Chelsea job.

However, those suggestions appear to have been shot down by the German midfielder, who has today expressed sadness at Scolari’s dismissal as well as becoming the latest Chelsea player to toe the “it’s all our fault really” line.

Use your vote wisely

The scenario: You’re the manager of a Premier League team, and you’re allowed to strengthen your squad by signing just one player in the January transfer window. But you can only choose someone from Chelsea’s star-packed squad - so who do you pick?

Your options: So much talent to choose between, it’s hard to even make a shortlist, let alone reduce Chelski’s squad to just one essential player. JT, Lamps, The Drog, Essien etc. Which one to go for?

There can be only one. Vote below:

Is this the best team in the Premier League?

Make no mistake, friends, the ‘Big Four’ are so-called because they’re brilliant. So brilliant that were you to merge them all together to create a “best of” team, some huge names would fall by the wayside. We are, of course, referring to the likes of Craig Lindfield, Andriy Voronin, Justin Hoyte, Darren Fletcher, Shaun Wright-Phillips. Just some of the football legends who didn’t make the cut.

GK Petr Cech (Chelsea)
No longer the best in the world, not even the best in Premier League - Friedel, James and Given are better. But he is the strongest in the top four, despite a horrendous Euro 2008. Should his terrible run of luck with facial injuries continue, he should end the season playing in a humiliating gimp mask.

DL Patrice Evra (Man United)
After an appalling debut (losing 3-1 to Man City, coming off at half time), Evra suddenly morphed into a fantastic player. Some might argue that Cole or Clichy are more deserving of the spot, but they’re wrong. Cole would bring the whole dressing room down with his awful personality, and Clichy is behind Evra in the France pecking order.

DC Rio Ferdinand (Man United)
It’s easy to forget that underneath the silly record labels, the totally pointless “merking” and the strange skew-whiff mouth, Rio Ferdinand is just a man, standing in front of you, asking you to tell him he’s brilliant at football. Don’t worry, Rio, you are. In fact, you’re our cap-i-tan.