Coming to a computer near you

Maybe these figures are the reason why Phil Brown is currently clearing his desk
( Guardian )

Fancy doing a bit of lawnwork at the Molineux. Now is your chance
( Dirty Tackle )

Walcott WAG doing what she does best
( Kickette )

And you thought Ashley was bad - meet the Australian owner who is trying to limit his club’s attendance
( Dirty Tackle )

Aloof, arrogant et al - it’s the Daniel Sturridge story
( The Sun )

Strong rumours reaching thespoiler

Paddy Power already have a market up for next boss, intended to go live at 10pm tonight. Andy Burton has now reported it on Twitter (albeit after thespoiler broke it.)

Is this the end for Mr Orange? And how extraordinary does this make that vote of confidence yesterday?

Hull boss “sweet-talks” girl contemplating suicide 

There’s an old adage among top flight managers: if you’re team has only won two of their last 29 matches, take them for a walk on a suspension bridge. Phil Brown did exactly this yesterday, taking his woeful troops for an “inspirational” stroll across the Humber Bridge. While avoiding the question of why he took his team to a suicide hotspot for inspiration, the orange boss has nonchalantly revealed how he talked down a jumper:

“We walked across the Humber Bridge on Wednesday and saved a girl actually.”

“She was considering her future, shall we say, but you never know whether somebody is just standing there until they jump. But there was no need to be up there unless you were a football team looking for inspiration. Maybe she must have seen us and thought ‘at least it’s not that bad’. Well for me in particular - not the players.

“She was claiming she was 40-plus, but she looked a lot younger I tell you. Nobody said she was going to jump. She was contemplating her future, but so was I. In the end she tootled off back to wherever she had come from. I’d sweet-talked her out of it.”

Phil certainly deserves praise for his rousing “things could be worse, you could play for Hull” speech - it’s just a shame that he looks so powerless to help his team avoid a drop of a different kind.

Hull boss believes his side’s 1-6 versus Liverpool was ever so similar to Fiorentina’s 2-0 victory

To the layman observer of professional football, Liverpool’s last two matches have been a little different. On the one hand, a porous defence seemingly intent on allowing Fernando Torres the match ball, ends up on the receiving end of a 6-1 lamping. On the other, the home side restrict Torres to scraps, and emerge comfortable winners with a 2-0 scoreline that flattered Benitez’s boys. Phil Brown however, is no layman. He understands better than us.

Commenting on the Tigers triumph at Anfield last Saturday, Brown explained:

“I got the boys in on Sunday to analyse and dissect what went on on Saturday. The most important thing was that I knew the gameplan was right. I watched very closely Fiorentina do exactly the same gameplan and it paid off.”

In other words, the 6-1 was certainly not his fault, and so convincing was Hull’s performance, that former Serie A Coach of the Year Cesare Prandelli only went and pinched Brown’s tactical strategy.

There is no great genius without a touch of madness. At least that is what Aristotle believed. And probably Phil Brown too.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

George Gillett does his best Baron Greenback impression (with shades of Gerard Houllier) at Liverpool’s rout of Hull on Saturday

Having snatched the Premier League’s best player, La Liga is moving on to phase two…
[EPL Talk]

Phil Brown is already on the lookout for alternative employment
[Off The Post]

Arsenal make some more money for Arsene Wenger not to spend
[The Sun]

Gareth Bale has finally broken his Spurs losing streak. Now on to actually starting a winning game…
[Daily Mail]

Roy Keane is a thoroughly pleasant man
[News of the World]

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Spaniard becomes favourite to enter the world of unemployment

Following last night’s home defeat to Aston Villa, Senor Benitez has leapfrogged over Paul Hart to become the favourite to be the next Premier League manager to go. SkyBet put him at a worryingly short 11/10 to clear his desk first, with the Pompey manager following at 9/4, and Alex McLeish and Phil Brown circling the periphery at 7/1.

Rafa is no stranger to straddling the fine line between gainful employment and a P45: his brush ups with the Billy Bob Gillett and Hank Hicks over the past few years have encouraged rumours of disharmony, and just last week the Spaniard was subject to a Twitter-based rumour which suggested he had walked out.

So, will Rafa see through Liverpool’s current spate of patchy form, or will he claim the honour of the first unceremonious departure of the season? Let us know your thoughts below…

A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Kyle Naughton to Everton
BBC Radio Sheffield claim that Everton have agreed a fee of around £5 million for Sheffield United right-back Naughton. The talented 21-year-old isn’t expected to discuss terms with the Toffees until Monday though.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Everton could have a fantastic all-English back four of Baines, Lescott, Jagielka and Naughton next season, all capable of making the World Cup squad. It’s unbelievable that Coral are still offering 5/1 on Everton being the highest-placed team outside the Big Four next season.

Fraizer Campbell to Sunderland
Sky Sports are reporting that Sunderland have had an offer of around £5 million accepted for the England Under-21’s striker. Phil Brown confirmed

Even more transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Karim Benzema to Manchester United
The French striker’s agent Karim Djaziri revealed that Sir Alex Ferguson wants to sign his client this summer. Just last week, Djaziri was quoted as saying that Benzema was happy to stay with the Ligue 1 club for another year.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Djaziri doesn’t expect Lyon to demand more than 40 million euros but the French side are in a great bargaining position as they know that the Red Devils have plenty to spend and need a striker.

Michael Owen to Hull
Phil Brown has confirmed that he was deadly serious about trying to sign Owen after his Newcastle contract expires next week. He said: “Hopefully Michael