Since Mrs Lineker called time on being married to Gary, blaming “stress and anxiety” for the break up, the kindly face of Match of The Day has been wiling away the long afternoons, glistening with baby oil, enjoying endless lovemaking sessions with the latest woman he intends to stress out - Danielle Bux. The pair have recently been spotted holding hands on a sunny beach wearing little bikinis and trunks. Very stressful.

Here’s what we know about

Luis Figo’s perma-nude missus could be on her way to London

At the end of June, Luis Figo’s contract with Inter Milan will expire, and the thirty-five year old winger will be a free agent. He could be off to the MLS, but those who appreciate Portugal’s golden era of football and Swedish models in equal parts will hope the rumours of a move to Fulham or Queens Park Rangers come to fruition. Figo and his wife Helen Svedin could be permanently moving to the home they own in West London very shortly…

The picture above shows the 32-year-old Swede in her most typical state. In fact, a quick

If it weren’t for evil Danielle Lloyd’s cheating, she’d be Miss GB

Plenty of people have had something taken from them by Danielle Lloyd – Charlotte Mears lost her fiancé to her cuckolding ways, while the innocence of an entire nation was stolen as she polluted the airwaves with her racism in the Big Brother house. But perhaps her biggest victim is Louise White, the twenty-three-year-old model who came

She sounds posh, but her public steamrollering habits say otherwise

The night before England’s crucial qualifying match with Croatia at Wembley, the England squad stayed at the Grove Hotel in Watford, whose decor is more akin to a knocking shop than a top-class hotel. The same day, a group of models were attending a photoshoot for breast cancer awareness at the hotel, and the paths of ‘soccer ace’ Alan Smith and Sophie Bovington-Kerr collided. In a

The footballer lovin’ model is about to assault the music charts

Having been romantically affiliated with Marcus Bent, Alan Smith and Cristiano Ronaldo, glamour model Gemma Atkinson is a fully fledged member of the WAG circuit. The 23-year-old Manchester lass made her name on teen soap Hollyoaks, and has since bolstered a thoroughly impressive CV with appearances on

She’s Argentina’s finest WAG export, but don’t get too close

Genoa FC striker Marco Borriello faced a slightly embarrassing situation last year, when he failed a drugs test. It transpired that he came into contact with the banned substance in the form of an ointment rubbed onto his penis before a huge steamrollering session. The lucky lady who risked his career with excited cream application was none other than Argentinean model Belen Rodriguez. ”I advised him to use the ointment but

Wondering how the Premier League’s most obnoxious individual is getting on?

That little scamp Joey Barton has been ringing in the New Year at Her Majesty’s pleasure, but how has he been getting on without his eye-burning cigars and his best fighting jumper? Has he been CS gassed yet? Is he running errands for a large man called Sally? Find out with our exclusive “New Year at Barton’s” snapshot album.

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