James Collins handcuffed and arrested for no particular reason

If there is a fight outside swanky nightclub Funky Buddha on a weeknight, it’s safe to assume a Premiership star is involved. The Police made this very assumption last night, and put cuffs on West Ham defender James Collins. Unfortunately, it seems the Welshman was simply passing the popular WAG-snaring haunt on his way home from a meal at Nobu with his wife, and was caught up in the commotion. According to the Met Police, a man was “arrested and then subsequently de-arrested in Berkley Square”.

The Mirror says that Collins is now “considering his options”.

Man takes out aggression on large defenseless animal

In news that will shock PETA members and people who have ‘I slow down for horses’ stickers in the back of their Volvos, Stoke fan Shaun Allen has been banned from attending football matches for three years after he punched a policeman’s steed at the Reebok:

A police officer took a can off Allen and asked the group to move on, but Allen became abusive.

Mark France, prosecuting, told the court that Allen struck the horse and ran off, but was arrested by other police officers.

On Friday he pleaded guilty to causing harassment, alarm and distress.

For his crime against law enforcing animals, the Stoke fan was also made to pay a £200 fine, £100 costs and a baffling £15 victim surcharge. What is a horse going to do with £15? And what’s the going rate for kicking a sniffer dog? Just asking…

[Bolton News via WithLeather, who should be commended for their inspired use of Blazing Saddles]

Who wants to see another South American football riot?

Our friends in South America tend to get an unfair wrap for their propensity to riot on the football field, but perhaps that’s because they do it so bloody often (evidence here, here, here and here). Over the weekend Bolivian champions Aurora played Wilsterman in an end of season tournament, during which a fist fight [2.30 in the video] saw a few of the players receive their marching orders. Wilsterman’s Eduardo Zenteno refused to leave the pitch, and a team of riot police escorted him from the field [5.00]. Clearly, Zenteno objected and a full scale brawl broke out, and police defended themselves from players’ karate kicks with pepper spray. Aurora keeper Silvio Dulcich even starts attacking the lawmen with a corner flag!

Amazingly, the ref chose not to banadon the game, but played after Wilsterman protested. Perhaps they shouldn’t have insisted so much, as Aurora came out 1-0 winners.

[Unprofessional Foul]

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Alex Ferguson reveals many Manchester Utd secrets in a rare interview in The Times

Sylvie van der Vaart claims to be ‘the cheapest WAG in the game’
[Bild]

Ingenious British driver infuriates German police
[Grid Crasher]

Professor Wenger is pleased to see Tony Adams in charge at Portsmouth
[Football365]

Kobe Bryant, Michael Phelps, Tony Hawk and A-Rod want you to buy a computer game
[Machochip]

The gossip blogs are getting excited about Freddie Ljungberg arriving in Seattle
[Perez Hilton]

Mental keeper gets a speeding fine

During Euro 2008, Pepe Reina proved to us that he cannot conduct himself appropriately on a plane, and yesterday he was charged for being unable to keep his Porsche 911 under the speed limit. For tearing his £70k motor down a suburban Liverpool street in December, the handsomely remunerated star was charged a whopping £250. The judge said:

“Although you are a man of significant means I see no reason why the penalty should be disproportionate.”

Pepe employed Nick Freeman, nicknamed Mr Loophole for allowing celebrities to get away with misdemeanours. Perhaps he should have used Damien Duff’s postal scam instead.

Unarmed female fan beaten like a ginger stepchild

Our friends across the Atlantic and south of the equator love nothing better than combining football with pure unadulterated violence (evidence here, here, here and here), and this time the poilce have been careful to deliver an appropriate level of force to a troublesome fan.

[Machochip]

Naughty gang attempted to use Serie A club for money laundering

A story is emerging today concerning a notorious crime gang - the Clan dei Caselesi - and their attempts to buy Lazio in 2006. Italian authorities claim that the family from the Camorra, the Naples version of the Mafia, tried to buy the club through a Hungarian pharmaceutical company using funds gained from violence, intimidation and lots of other naughty stuff:

[…] police in Rome made 10 arrests as part of an operation codenamed ‘Broken Wings’. The people being held are Italians and foreigners.In 2006, Lazio president Claudio Lotito was given police protection after receiving threats from ultras (club supporters group), who were allegedly trying to intimidate him into selling to a consortium led by former Lazio player and president Giorgio Chinaglia.

Chinaglia fled after being charged with market-rigging linked to his bid while Lotito has also faced similar charges over

Attraction to all things orange leads supporters into trouble

Up until Holland’s impromptu exit from Euro 2008 at the weekend, Switzerland’s National Railway had told its workers to stop wearing orange reflective jackets. According to Reuters, Dutch fans, presumably high and transfixed on their army of good looking supporters (see above), are inexplicably attracted to anyone or anything sporting their national colour:

Switzerland’s national railway has told its workers to stop using their normal orange reflective vests after confused Dutch soccer fans started following them on to the tracks.

A railway spokesman said the changed strip had been prompted by an incident in the Swiss capital Berne when a group of Netherlands supporters followed a worker on to the lines after mistaking his uniform for their traditional orange dress.

As a solution to this problem, the railway folk have been donning vests lent to them by the Police instead. The colour? Bright yellow. Let’s hope there’s no more Swedes knocking about in the neutral country…

[Reuters via WithLeather]