If you thought Robbie Keane’s time at Liverpool was fleeting…

After fending off competition from Arsenal, Chelsea and Juventus, Real Madrid secured the signature of Dutch striker Klaas-Jan Huntelaar for €20m just before the January transfer window.

Despite making just five appearances for Los Blancos (151 minutes on the pitch), the former Ajax man is already planning an exit strategy.

Bungling Madrid sporting director Predrag Mijatović didn’t help the situation by also signing Lassana Diarra in the window. Mijatović clearly neglected the UEFA laws mean the club may only pick one of their new men for Champions League duty. Unfortunately for Huntelaar, they picked Diarra.

The miserable Dutchman spoke to AS, possibly while crying:

“I can’t stand this situation anymore. They [Madrid] have neither included me for the Champions League nor do they want to play me in La Liga. Juande [Ramos] does not have any confidence in me. I want to leave Madrid. I can’t bear this.”

Man with sexy fiancée is packing his bags, say Spanish press

While the British press believe Real Madrid are all set to fill their right wing void with Wigan’s Luis Valencia, the Spanish are reporting that Los Merengues have already made a move for Jermaine Pennant.

According to Sport, Manager Juande Ramos couldn’t be less interested in the Liverpool star, but new sporting director Predrag Mijatović has already agreed a £3m deal.

Mijatović is currently in the doghouse for signing Lassana Diarra and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, as only one of them is eligible to play in the Champions League (under some fangled UEFA laws, a team can only play one new player who has already in a European competition for another side). Due to their utterly shit league form and embarassing Copa del Rey exit, Madrid’s only chance of winning something is the Champions League, and this transfer mistake could prove costly.

Spanish giants just cannot stop staring at Ronaldo’s picture

Elegant French sports journal L’Equipe has had a chat with Real Madrid’s sporting director, Predrag Mijatovic, and reckon that Real’s singular obsession is to sign the boy Ronaldo.

“In the world of football Real Madrid is one of the most prestigious teams, which is why it needs the best players in the world. Our fans were lucky enough to see Zinedine Zidane in a white shirt, and we all look back to that time when we won the Champions League. That’s why we want Ronaldo to be the face of the new Real Madrid,” says the one they call Pedja.

Real’s dealings in the transfer market have been poor in recent years, bringing neither European glory nor a positive balance sheet, and the huge sums earnt a while back from the sale of their old training ground has long been squandered. However, President Calderon has had enough of being humiliated in Europe, and like all good egomaniacal owners has decided that he must have the best, regardless of contract law or the wrath of Ferguson.