Gabby’s love interests silence their critics via The Spoiler

On Monday, we made glamour model Tia Hithersay the WAG of the Day, in honour of the fact that she is one of three ladies who have been impregnated by Aston Villa forward Gabriel Agbonlahor. You can read about the swordsman’s antics in detail here, but essentially the Brummie star was sleeping with all three ladies, none of whom knew of the existence of each other.

Despite suffering Gabby’s shameless tactics, Tia and his original lady Sophie Smith have become good friends with one another (they are pictured above enjoying a night out in Derby last weekend and they are off on holiday together soon), and they decided to contact The Spoiler in order to set the record straight. Here’s what they had to say:

“Sophie and Tia both had a relationship with Gabriel Agbonlahor, at the same time but without knowing about one another. This was an unfortunate circumstance for all girls involved, Including Elizabeth Wheeler, but Sophie and Tia have looked past this and have become very good friends. Although they feel hurt by Gabriel’s actions, they did enjoy happy times with him and so will not slag him off like wanted by others. Sophie did not comment on the story in any way and did not comment to a friend that Gabriel was crap in bed, why would she have been with him for five years if he were so bad in bed???

Tia would also like to take this opportunity

The model who completed Gabby’s WAG hat-trick

In the realm of Premier League swordsmen, Aston Villa’s Gabriel Agbonlahor takes some beating. According to the News of the World, the Brummie forward has managed to cheat on three separate WAGs, impregnating each of them. The most aesthetically pleasing of the scorned trio is Tia Hithersay, an air hostess and glamour model from Derby.

The story that could be hitting the tabloids soon…

After a dreadful start to the campaign, it seems that things keep getting worse for Tottenham Hotspur. The Spoiler has been informed that there is a lady in her sixth month of pregnancy, claiming the father to be a White Hart Lane star. The bun in the oven is the result of a two year fling, of which the player’s long-term girlfriend knows nothing. The expectant lady is reluctant to tell all to the press for fear of coming across as a ‘man stealer’.

Stand back people, there’s another one…

Gary Neville is one of those players who values the result over the quality of the match. Grind it out, get the win, that’s his mentality. Hence, the Man United right back must have been over the moon to discover that after years of pointless sexual intercourse, his wife Emma has fallen pregnant.

The whisper on the street is that she’s been storing the next member of the Neville dynasty in her womb for over five months already, meaning that junior might even share a birthday with Jesus H Christ.

Well done, Nevilles. Congratulations.

For another take on things, head over to Kickette

Striker fails to trim down during summer of excess

It’s obviously a slow news day, as the two big stories in the papers are Rio Ferdinand’s Stamford Bridge steward kicking incident (which happened three months ago) and Wayne Rooney’s expanding waistline. The Sun claim the Manchester Utd striker’s summer of laying stagnant in a pool, emerging only to drink and eat fast food, has had a serious effect on his physique. He looked a bit portly in a friendly against Aberdeen this weekend, but wasn’t he always a little more rotund than is desirable for a professional footballer?

If you want to see a striker who has really been piling it on, check out this guy:

Ronaldo, whose contract with AC Milan ended two weeks ago, is pictured testing the tensile strength of a yacht in Ibiza. It looks like he and pregnant WAG Bia Anthony are really enjoying the local cuisine…