Citeh’s Thai revolution takes another bizarre twist
UPDATE: Shinawatra has denied the story. You win this time, common sense.
Unassisted by useful journalistic tools like evidence and quotations, The Daily Express today are claiming that Thai nutbag Thaksin Shinawatra has put the entire Manchester City team up for sale:
Thai billionaire Shinawatra, who is already set to sack manager Sven-Goran Eriksson, is apparently so disgusted with the team’s performances in the second half of the season that he wants a massive clear-out, including young stars such as Micah Richards, Michael Johnson and Joe Hart.
If this is true, what the Gary Mabbutt is he up to? It’s no secret
The eagle-eyed news monkeys at Football365 have noticed that Steven Gerrard tends to impart similar sounding words of encouragement on a yearly basis, yet they have thus far failed to help his side bring home the domestic title.
But could his expectation-raising comments spur the Reds to trouble the top of the table this year? Is Rafa’s head shaped a bit like an old fashioned kettle? Do I look good in pastel colours because they bring out my eyes? So many questions, so little time…
“Most of the lads in this squad have won every trophy except the Premier League so that is the aim this year. If not, improve again and do it next year, but we feel a title challenge is around the corner…” Steven Gerrard, December 26, 2005
“I’ve liked the way we’ve done business this summer. I’m not going to start making any unnecessary predictions about what’s going to happen this season and the last thing any of us need to do is
Players jeopardise European spot, integrity in the north east
Amid all the Manchester Utd celebrations, Birmingham rioting, John Terry arms and Paul Jewell bitching, Man City’s suspicious loss at the Riverside has been flying a under the radar. At the time of writing, Sven-Goran Eriksson is still waiting to receive his £5m pay-off hear of his future at Manchester City, and is uncertain if he will be joining his side on their impending Eastern tour.
It’s no secret that the players are unhappy about the Swede’s looming P45, and accusing a side of throwing a game is a very strong charge, but is it possible that they engineered this highly unlikely end to the season? Consider the following:
* Previously, Middlesbrough hadn’t scored more than two goals in a game all season.
* This is only the fourth occasion in Premier League history when a team has scored eight or more in a game - the others being Newcastle/ Sheffield Wednesday (8-0; 99/00), Manchester United/ Nottingham Forest (8-1; 98/99) and Manchester Utd/ Ipswich (9-0; 94/95).
* On each of those occasions the team that won were higher in the league table.
* Sven Goran Eriksson’s side hadn’t lost three straight league games all season previously.
* Manchester City’s record defeat was a 1-9 defeat to Everton way back in 1906 and this was Middlesbrough’s record top-flight win.
* City started the day with a clear lead in the Fair Play League
Proud Premier League champion displays heightened sense of geographical awareness
If Alex Ferguson dedicates his time to anything this summer, it should be to a greater study of the field of geography. In the build up to the final weekend of the season, the red nosed one had the following to offer:
“I speak to people abroad and they love the Premier League.
“That’s why they show it all over the world. When we played Arsenal the match was seen in 200 countries.”
Being watched in over 200 countries is very impressive, especially considering that most experts believe there are between 190 and 195 countries in the world today.
Tuesday’s Daily Mail ran with some intriguing facts and myths about the brain - not the big issues, such as why their readers have such difficulty with the concept of people from Africa and Eastern Europe or the residents of council estates - but “fun” facts, such as “Exercise helps keep your brain fit.” Were this true, Premier League footballers would be amongst the nation’s most mentally agile, yet any post-match interview culled at random from the thousands performed each season would demonstrate that this is patently not so. However, as the season reaches its dramatic climax - one chair, two arses, music stops Sunday - mental toughness has become the key theme of pre-game chatter. Chelsea have “the momentum”, whereas United have to go and play in a potato field at Wigan. John Terry says Chelsea have “a steely determination”, whereas the Guardian believes Alex Ferguson will be “frowning”. The fact that at this late stage Chelsea are still pressed up against United like a sex-pest commuter must be driving the reds mad with irritation.
Using this logic and a shed load of statistics, the boys at chickendinner believe Chelsea will crush Bolton, and take the league title too. Disagree? Then back United here, smart arse.
The statistics
* Manchester United haven’t won any of their last four away games in all competitions.* They have failed to win their final away game
Which club’s champagne reserves will be utilised this weekend?
Over the past year, we’ve seen sacked managers, prison sentences and more Cristiano Ronlado sex partners than anyone thought conceivable, and it all reaches a conclusion on Sunday. It’s the first time since 1968 that the top two teams have been on the same points, and one of Chelsea or Manchester Utd will be lifting the silverware (although the Blues will have to make do with a shabby replica) at around 5pm. So who ya got? Vote now…
And while you’re at it, which two teams do you think will go down? The Spoiler believes Fulham will pull off a miraculous escape, but do you agree? Votes and comments below, please.
To bet on the title race click here and to bet on the relegation battle click here.
With the conclusion of the Premier League, the Turkish Grand Prix and the mighty Ebbsfleet’s visit to Wembley, there’s never been more temptation to stay inside on what will be a scorching weekend. Throughout today, we’ll be providing the news, opinions and statistics of all the action, and you can make it a little more interesting by having a punt right here.
FRIDAY
Indian Premier League
Rajasthan Royals/ Deccan Chargers (Setanta Sports 1, 3.30pm)
League One Play-off Semi-final First Leg
Southend Utd/ Doncaster Rovers (Sky Sports 1, 7.45pm)
SATURDAY
Turkish Grand Prix
Qualifying (ITV1, 12pm)
Championship Play-off Semi-final 1st Leg
Crystal Palace/ Bristol City (Sky Sports 1, 12.15pm)
Scottish Premier League
Rangers/ Dundee Utd (Setanta Sports 1, 12.30pm)
FA Trophy Final
Ebbsfleet Utd/ Torquay Utd (Sky Sports 1, 2.30pm)
Fulham to perform a Houdini-like escape this Sunday
As with the internet, the car and oxygen itself, it is now hard to imagine what life was like before the Apprentice. Not only does it make everything else on television look like the work of half-witted amateurs, but it has come to explain everything about modern life. The state of the economy? Small wonder it’s in such chaos if the business world is run on such pure incompetence. The war in Iraq? How can we hope to understand its complexities if the country’s most educated people can’t even begin to guess which religion eats kosher food? Boris Johnson becoming mayor of London? These people are brought to a state of frozen panic when asked to correctly place an apostrophe on a greetings card - what does that say about their decision making abilities? And so to the final day of the Premier League season, which Sir Alan neatly anticipated by firing two people. This weekend, two teams will be ejected from the top table. Like the Apprentice, there will be a lot of angry finger pointing, but moan as much as they like, two red-faced losers will be strapping themselves bitterly into the taxi of relegation, still none the wiser as to where it all went wrong.
The Spoiler believes Fulham will survive at the weekend. Disagree? Then bet against it!
The statistics
* Reading face Derby on Sunday, who are without a win in 31 league games, and regardless
Much-maligned Chelsea boss is on the verge of greatness
When Jose Mourinho walked the plank of the Good Ship Chelsea, no one expected his replacement to last more than a few games. But here we are, and Avram Grant is just two games from giving Chelsea their best season ever. With the Toad at the helm, the results have kept on coming, yet he faces criticism and constant talk of his imminent succession.
He may not have a UEFA Pro License, a good pedigree in management or the ability to show emotions through facial expressions, but does Avram really deserve the boot based on this season’s performances? Votes and comments below, please.
