Legendary striker announces political affiliation

Since his mid-nineties peak as one of the greatest footballers in the world, Romario has made more ’shocking’ returns from retirement than we care to remember. In August, the 43-year-old Brazilian revealed his intention to dust off his boots later this month for América Football Club, in order to fulfill his father’s wish to see him turn out in their red jersey.

Despite his imminent return to the game and his recent legal troubles with child support payments and illegal betting networks, the former PSV and Barcelona star yesterday announced his affiliation with the Brazilian Socialist Party (PSB). While the party refrained from formally announcing Romario’s candidacy for the 2010 national elections, the Spanish press seem to believe that they will attempt to capitalise on the striker’s popularity in Brazil.

Spoiler bonus: Romario’s capacity for making love on planes and romancing strippers will surely help bring some much-needed sexiness to Brazilian politics.

Laurent Blanc is a shock contender to succeed Juande Ramos

The Spanish press are reporting that Laurent Blanc has emerged as a frontrunner for the Real Madrid job after Zinedine Zidane recommended him to Florentino Perez, the favourite to be elected president at the Bernabeu.

The Frenchman, once of Barcelona, guided Bordeaux to second in Ligue 1 last season and they are only two points off the top spot in this campaign.

However, The Spoiler believes it would still be too much of a gamble hiring someone who has only managed for two seasons and, unlike Pep Guardiola at Barca, has no prior experience at the club. It would also be very harsh on Juande Ramos - whose league record is P16 W14 D1 L1.

Will Real Madrid succeed where Manchester City failed?

If the outcome recent Manchester City debacle is to be believed, wild horses couldn’t drag Kaka away from his beloved Milan.

Despite his obvious reticence to depart the Rossoneri, the Spanish press believe the Brazilian - pictured doing his famous Spider-Man impression - is subject to another bid from Real Madrid.

Spanish paper Sport says that prospective Madrid president Florentino Perez will sanction a €70m bid for the one who belongs to Jesus, and will line his pockets with a €12m annual contract.

Once again, it’s worth noting that this is the claim of a man mounting a campaign to regain his position as Real Madrid president. It is customary for such gentlemen to make outlandish promises of intent: yesterday, Perez claimed he would re-sign David Beckham and bring in Cristiano Ronaldo, and has already claimed to have reached a verbal agreement with the Portuguese star’s agent.

Xerez Club Deportivo should be proud of their top dog

The handsome devil above is Joaquín Bilbao, the president of Spanish second division side Xerez. If you think he looks like the kind of chap who wouldn’t be arrested for his involvement in a shootout in a brothel, you’re quite wrong.

According to Spanish paper Marca, Bilbao and his driver have been arrested for some Wild West antics that occurred last week at a Jerez brothel. The two men are alleged to have shot at the sex establishment in the early hours of Tuesday morning from a car, hitting the door and one of the windows. The shots were said to have woken the neighbours, but no one was hurt as the brothel was closed at the time.

FIFA’s President is worried once more about English dominance

It’s rare for a Champions League round to go by without someone in a position of power complaining about how good the English teams are and Sepp Blatter decided it was his turn again last night.

He told the BBC: “It is taking over in such a manner that the other leagues have difficulties to match it.”

The Spoiler can’t remember such a big fuss being made when three Italian sides made the 2002-03 semi-finals and Juventus and AC Milan played out an unwatchable final. The statement also ignores the fact that as many Spanish teams have reached the final as English ones in the last nine years and as many Italian clubs have won it as Premier League sides over the last six.

Blatter also criticised the lack of competition in the Premier League

Fergie’s best mate implicated in voting scandal

Ramon Calderon has been Real Madrid’s president since 2006, but thanks to a scandal published in Spanish newspaper Marca, the 58-year-old lawyer will be forced to resign today. Calderon stands accused of winning and securing the Presidency via a terribly naughty system of vote rigging. Four Four Two report:

“The presidential team snuck through people who did not have the right to vote to approve the accounts,” claims the paper.

Marca is reporting that Calderón and members of the team that helped win him Madrid’s presidential election in 2006 rigged the Assembly vote - a poll concerning matters such as the approval of the club’s accounts and budgets.

Marca claims that this vote rigging was achieved with the help of fake “compromisarios” (club members possessing voting rights) whose membership had expired or who did not have enough tenure to legally fulfill the role. It’s a bit like when Sideshow Bob became Mayor of Springfield by counting the votes of the deceased.

The man to whom Alex Ferguson would not “sell a virus” held a press conference on Wednesday denying his role in these shenanigans, but is expected to allow Vice President Vicente Bolouda to take the hot seat later today.

Car analogies aren’t Joan Laporta’s strong point

Spanish lawyer Joan Laporta has been President of Barcelona since 2003, when he was elected under the premise of bringing David Beckham to Catalonia. He eventually secured the services of Ronaldinho and Frank Rijkaard, however, his Catalan nationalist political ideologies and authoritarian leadership styles have come under scrutiny during his reign.

After losing out in a vote of no confidence in the summer, the Spaniard is keen to stress his achievements at the club. Unfortunately, he chose to do this via the medium of a nonsensical automotive analogy:

“[When I started at Barcelona] in 2003, it was a car with three wheels: sporting, economic and social. Now it is a Formula One car with five wheels.”

Djimi Traoré played his part in US democracy, says Wikipedia

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With 482 goals in five appearances for Mali and a key role in the US government, it’s amazing that Djimi Traoré gets anything else done