Prostitution and group sex championed by Russian upper classes

According to The Telegraph, a wealthy socialite named Pyotr Listerman has given Russian players a thoroughly tempting reason to find the net in tonight’s Euro 2008 semi-final:

Listerman, well known for setting up rich Russians with prospective wives, said: “For each goal I’ll present two beautiful chicks. Watch the guys react.”The modern day cupid was caught on camera making the offer to Andrei Arshavin, who seemed to be pretty well disposed to the idea.

“There are a number of bachelors in our team,” said Arshavin. “This is a great incentive.”

If only an eccentric billionaire had made the same offer to Ronaldo - Portugal would almost certainly be in the final, and the tricky winger would have needed to hire a coach to take his rewards home.

French World Cup winner tells all in new autobiography

Despite having a haircut that would exclude most men from any kind of social interaction and a name reminiscent of soft focus grot films, Emmanuel Petit really lived it up during his time at Arsenal. In his autobiography A Fleur de Peau, published in France yesterday, the former defensive midfielder said he ‘went off the rails a bit’ after winning the World Cup:

“On my days off I discovered the parallel world of Parisian nights - private soirees, swapping clubs,” says Petit.

“They often went on in incredibly luxurious apartments whose owners I didn’t even know - but everyone recognised me.”

The unscrupulously honest Frenchman goes on to talk about a sexy rendezvous at the Sopwell House Hotel in St Albans:

“This pretty girl came regularly,” says Petit. “We had a relationship one day in the snooker room. The next morning,

Sighting of first not-entirely-straight professional footballer turns out to be false alarm

Memo to famous people - if you must spend time with prostitutes, take a few minutes beforehand to get your story straight in case the police get involved. The Brazilian Ronaldo, you may recall, found himself soaked in infamy last week when the ladies of the night he contracted to help him get over “a silly fight” he’d had with his girlfriend turned out to be trannies with an appetite for blackmail.

As a result, “Il Fenomeno” found himself having to talk to one of Brazil’s top talk shows - “Fantastico” - last Sunday to clear up the public’s confusion about why one of their sporting legends and lover of many great beauties should have time in his diary for such creatures,

The great centre forward, sitting in his mother’s garden and not feeling particularly fantastico himself after spending the week crying, said “I did something really stupid and now my image is going to be stained for ever because of this incident. I let myself down and made a grave mistake.”

“I caused a problem that has had huge international repercussions. The biggest mistake was to

Amazingly, it’s the other Ronaldo this time

When it comes to hiring ladies of the night, AC Milan’s Ronaldo has so much to learn from the Portuguese man-o’-sex. When C-Ron has a ‘prostitute binge day’ (known to you and I as a ‘weekday’), he is quick to make sure the hired help do not have bigger cojones than he does. His Brazilian namesake, it seems, failed to perform such stringent checks.

The tubby striker picked up some ladies in Rio de Janeiro on Saturday night, but the motel room turned into an outright sausagefest when it transpired that both girls were transvestites. The former men