Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

Alexander Hleb’s quest to earn the eternal hatred of Arsenal fans has gained further momentum today, as he told the world that Cesc Fabregas helped convince him of the pleasantries of Barcelona life, before hinting that the Spanish super sub may be joining him in Catalonia soon. The Spoiler sees it as a distinct possibility in a year or two, but for now, Cesc will surely remain at the Emirates.

Claude Makelele to PSG
The ageing Chelsea midfielder is ready to follow Ludovic Giuly and Lillian Thuram to Paris as the French side look to bring together a team strong enough to challenge for the European Masters Cup over the next few years.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: A done deal

Didier Drogba to Barcelona
Following Makelele out of the door could be Double D, who kindly told Chelsea that if nobody better comes in for him over the next few days he will sign a new contract. He has ducked out of Chelsea’s tour of China with a knee problem, prompting speculation he is leaving.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Scolari insists he is staying put

Andy Johnson to Fulham
The Cottagers have now decided

The north/ further north divide in France has never been more apparent

Everyone in the UK has been getting their knickers in a twist about the lack of respect shown by fans and officials in football, but we are not the only country dealing with controversy in the game.

Paris Saint-Germain fans kicked up a storm by unfurling a huge banner reading ‘Paedophiles, Unemployed, Inbreeding, Welcome to the North’, during a cup game with Lens on Saturday. The message mimics the name of a film currently out in France, and the Parisians were deemed to have gone too far in insulting their friends from the north (slightly further north than them, that is).

French football chief Frederic Thiriez has promised to lay the smackdown on the ‘imbeciles’ who marred the Coupe de la Ligue final, and much like Gordon Brown wading into the respect debate in today’s papers (”Footballers have a greater responsibility than anyone else to set the right example for young people,” he says - that should do the trick), French President Nicolas Sarkozy - who