David Bentley forced to chow down on a knuckle sandwich

Despite having a very punchable face, Tottenham star David Bentley nearly made it 24 years without someone punching him in the face. This all changed over the weekend, however, when someone punched him in the face:

The Spurs midfielder, 24, had been enjoying a meal with Kimberly Mills [WAG link here] and another couple when a man walked up to their table after finishing his own dinner - and took a swing at him.

Stunned Bentley was left reeling in his chair as the attacker ran out of the restaurant.

According to Bentley’s agent Robert Segal, the attack at the swanky Nolita bar in Herts was premeditated, as the assailant had a taxi waiting outside for him.

The Daily Mirror fail to properly describe the attacker in their report, however an exclusive source has issued a description to The Spoiler. With brown hair and a medium build, the man is said to be a football manager in his sixties, who has been trying to sell a player called David Bentley ever since he started a job at a north London club.

If you have seen a man matching this description, do please get in touch.

If you thought David Moyes suffered from touchline rage…

Here’s some excellent South American manager anger, unearthed by the handsome devils at Off The Post.

Pedro Santilli - former Brazil assistant coach and current Comercial manager - watched his side play a crucial relegation dogfight with Catanduvense over the weekend. Keen to keep play moving, Santilli collected a spare ball from the pitch, brushing past a Catanduvense player, who went down like he’d been shot. This should have been enough to land the coach in hot water, but just to make sure, he proceeded to punch the referee in the face with a sweet right hook.

Santarelli was duly sent off, and Comercial’s subsequent 1-0 defeat ensured their relegation. The short-tempered gaffer publicly apologised after the game, but the referee refused to kiss and make up with him in person.

Inter manager didn’t take defeat at Old Trafford very well

When the final whistle blew at Old Trafford last night, Jose Mourinho conceded that his Inter side were defeated by a “perfect team”, and even gave fierce rival Alex Ferguson a friendly cuddle.

After leaving the dugout, something roused the Portuguese from his calm demeanour, as he is alleged to have clocked a fan in the face while boarding the team coach:

Police have contacted Manchester United to request CCTV footage of the area, and a police spokesperson was quoted by Sky Sports as saying, “Shortly before midnight last night a man reported that he had been punched in the face outside Old Trafford.

“We are investigating an allegation of common assault,” the statement concluded.

If The Special One wishes to avoid brushes with the law in the future, perhaps he should stop taking coach-boarding tips from Jason Roberts.

Stuttgart man receives gratuitous nutshot after scoring goal

Stuttgart were trailing 5-0 at home to Bayern Munich last night when Mario Gomez headed home a consolatory goal. There clearly wasn’t much to celebrate, but was the reaction from team mate Martin Lanig really necessary? Does he not know the gut-aching pain of a blow to the gentleman’s lunchbox?

[Off The Post]

Joey Barton may have finally found a league that suits him

It seems that anything goes over in the T- Com Croatian First Football League. In the clip above Hajduk Split player Jurica Buljat defends a set piece by lamping an NK Varteks opponent. The blow is enough to floor him, but on the advice of his assistant, the lenient ref decides it’s only a yellow card offence. And to think that Deco received the same punishment last night for taking a free kick slightly too quickly…

[The Offside]

Sydney Swans player lays the smackdown on opponent

In a bid to perpetuate every imaginable stereotype concerning Aussie Rules football, Sydney Swans player Barry Hall decided to take his off-the-ball movement in a more aggressive direction in a match at the weekend. If you’re going to attempt this kind of strategy, however, it’s probably best not to do it in a packed stadium during a televised game.