Borat isn’t going to like this

A few weeks ago, Barcelona striker Samuel Eto’o turned down a move to Tottenham Hotspur, reasoning that they are ‘a mid-table club and I need more’. The wantaway Cameroonian obviously heard that PFC Kuruvchi finished second in last year’s Uzbek League, as he has been anounced as a new signing on their extremely well-written website:

In addition, invited and signed contract with Cameroonian forward Samuel Eto’O from Barcelona. Striker will arrive to Tashkent on July 17th and will play in the second half of championship of Uzbekistan. In our view, this great football player you are all well known. But the greatest benefit from him staff of Kuruvchi waiting in the matches of AFC Champions League 2008.

Of course, Barcelona have laughed off claims that Eto’o will be moving to Uzbekistan on a six month contract, yet PFC are confident they have bagged the 27-year-old. They even claim that Barca, who have told Eto’o they don’t want him next season, have significantly lowered their £30m asking price due to the ‘personal friendship between presidents of the clubs.’

Check out PFC Kuruvchi’s official site here, where they also claim that Xavi, Puyol and Iniesta are heading over to the former Soviet nation. The club’s president, Lie McBullcrap, is currently unavailable for comment, and is said to be hiding away in his gum drop mansion at 123 Fake Street, in Tashkent’s wealthy Madeupsville suburb.

Samuel Eto’o gets his paparazzo on

After scoring in hat-trick in a 5-1 drubbing of Levante on Sunday, Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o pulled a fantastic new goal celebration out of the bag.

The Cameroonian marched over to a waiting photographer, took his camera and snapped teammates Bojan Krkić and Carles Puyol. The resulting photo was then published on the front cover of sports paper Mundo Deportivo (bottom right in the video below).