Prem player pays tribute to favourite hobby and breaks stuff

A few weeks ago we told you about the Premiership star who would rather play with his beloved quad bikes than kick a ball around a field. The same player was recently enjoying some sophisticated conversation with a foxy friend of The Spoiler when the subject of household decorations came up. Revealing his artistic side, the player proudly declared that he was making a “colleague” of quad bikes to sit above his mantle piece. (Unless he invented a new collective noun for four-wheeled off road vehicles, we can probably assume he meant ‘collage’.)

The same player was so upset that his long-proposed transfer to a rival Premiership club fell through yesterday, that he “smashed up” some of Newcastle Utd’s high-tech gym equipment.

We also know that the well-remunerated star will not be reading this, as he doesn’t own a computer.

Prem player reveals food query, future plans and favourite hobby

Yesterday, The Spoiler fervently defended David Bentley against The Sun’s claims he was a little ‘intelligently-impaired’, because it’s easy to forget that footballers are sheltered beasts. They have about one month off a year, and when they’re not having great sex with amazing-looking women, they’re training.

Hence, when a talented midfielder/striker naively approached a foxy friend of The Spoiler two weeks ago asking, “Do they eat roast dinners in London?” we didn’t guffaw so hard that champagne went everywhere, we understood.

And when the Newcastle man let slip that he wanted to leave for Everton, but Kevin Keegan was “charging too much”, no one so much as raised an eyebrow to his candid nature.

In fact, it was only when he said enjoys football “as a job”, and he’d much rather be out playing with his beloved quadbikes, that everyone finally started laughing and told him to stop.