Make him defend something he really loves

Anyone who has seen the car park of a Premier League training ground will know that there are few things in life that a footballer holds in higher esteem than a Range Rover Sport. Keen to exploit the innate weakness for unnecessarily large luxury vehicles, Bahrain’s national coach decided prepare for a forthcoming World Cup Qualifier with Australia by putting his goalkeeper in front of a hallowed 4×4. The under-fire shot stopper does very well, even though the car actually belongs to the gaffer who is berating him.

If Guus Hiddink or Alex Ferguson wish to tighten up their slightly leaky defences, they could learn a lot from the training techniques of our friends in the Persian Gulf.

[Football Banter via Off The Post]

Liverpool captain puts his motor on Auto Trader

We were under the impression that Premier League footballers throw their cars in the bin when they grow tired of them, but apparently some try to sell them too. Last year, Steven Gerrard sold his Range Rover Sport on Auto Trader like some sort of common person, and he’s been at again.

The Liverpool captain’s Overfinch Vogue GT (a heavily modified version of the Range Rover Vogue) has been put up for sale on Auto Trader for £52,900 - £30,000 less than he paid for it last year.

Stevie G has customised the gas guzzler with £4,000 alloy wheels, an £1,800 DVD entertainment system, £700 wool carpets and the number eight etched into the armrests.

Should you wish to purchase this car, you will join a list of Overfinch owners that includes Shaun Wright-Phillips, John Terry, Jermaine Jenas, Jermaine Defoe and Peter Lovenkrands.

Unfortunately, the luxury re-styling company are also responsible for Stephen Ireland’s pink wheels.

[Auto Trader]

Republic of Ireland star finally explains the sexy pink 4×4

In order to publicise his “journey from ridicule to respect,” The Daily Mail have published a feature on allegedly respectable Manchester City star Stephen Ireland.

Lead by a picture of the midfielder leaning against a stained glass window while looking all thoughtful, the puffy piece sets out to distance the player from the world of fictional deceased grandmothers, ‘Daddy Dick’ and the rest of the tomfoolery that has defined his career.

Within the interview feature, Ireland answered a question that has plagued Spoiler readers since February 26th 2008 - why the heck did he think a Range Rover with pink wheels and trim was a good idea?

‘The car was [Ireland’s girlfriend] Jessica’s,’ he said with a huge grin. ‘I only drove it once. Just my luck it was photographed and ended up in the News of the World. We sold it soon after as someone scraped a key down it.

Realistically, Ireland and his WAG had no choice but to sell the car after someone vandalised it. After all, it would have looked completely ridiculous with a key scrape down the side.

Joe Cole glad he ignored Al Gore when choosing motor

Big Phil Scolari officially started work at Chelsea’s Cobham training ground yesterday, and he almost did so a man down. On the way to training, Joe Cole’s Range Rover became rather too well acquainted with a 40-ton lorry:

“[Cole] dashed to the aid of another driver trapped in his Vauxhall Signum.

“The Chelsea winger’s £50,000 4×4 took the full impact of the Scania lorry - and careered into the Vauxhall.

“Driver John Jury was knocked unconscious - and came to with Cole banging on his window.”

The dent in the plush Chelsea tractor doesn’t look particularly life threatening, but the other driver claims Cole would not have survived if he had been driving a sports car, or one of those hybrid efforts that obnoxious people drive to let people know they are better than everyone else. Absolutely no one who lives in or around London needs a 4×4, yet it seems the winger and his bride-to-be Carly Zucker have done the right thing in completely disregarding their carbon footprint.

Spoiler bonus: it looks like someone has been playing tricks with Joe Cole’s Wikipedia entry…

[click image to enlarge]

Here’s what happens when you give a moron some money

Make no mistake - Stephen Ireland is cool. When he’s not experimenting with strange haircuts, showing his Superman pants on the field or pretending his relatives are dead to escape international duty, he’s buying an old Range Rover that most Essex hairdressers would be ashamed of. He’s pretty much my hero.

[On the Bench]