Spaniard reveals obsession with reality TV show

The Daily Star has taken a brief break from stories about Chanelle from Big Brother to tell us about Fernando Torres’ love of British television. In particular, he likes Dancing On Ice, and hinted that he would be interested in participating:

“The television in England is very good and there is a lot that I enjoy to watch.

“There is a programme called Dancing On Ice where a celebrity and a skater perform together. It is very artistic and elegant to watch. The couples move very gracefully together.

“Sometimes the celebrity will fall over, which can be amusing.

“But it must be very difficult. One day perhaps you may see me on the programme, too.”

Torres holds more than just a passing interest in the TV competition. Whenever he has to play on Sundays, he “makes arrangements to have it recorded.” By this, we can only assume that the striker is incapable of operating his own Sky+ box, and employs someone specifically for that duty.

It’s highly unlikely that Rafa Benitez would let Nando strain his delicate little hamstrings on the ice, so we will almost certainly have to wait until his career is over before we see him in a sequined leotard.

Spoiler bonus: If Senor Torres ever feels homesick, there’s plenty of Spanish TV on YouTube…

Carly Zucker to undergo demeaning trials for our entertainment

Good news for fans of WAGs and mind-numbing reality television shows - Carly Zucker is currently on her way to the Australian outback to compete in I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here.

Joe Cole’s fitness trainer wife-to-be, pictured above with some giant spherical Mars bars, may not technically be a ‘celebrity’, but she is certainly a good reason to tune in to the ITV1 show, which starts begins on Sunday at 9pm.

South Americans pioneer the televised WAG-off

In the UK, prime-time reality TV contests are based around bad karaoke, public humiliation and enormous wealth generation for Simon Cowell . In Brazil, however, things are a helluva lot sexier. Website Globoesporte launched the Musa do Brasileiro competition back in May, which whittled down thousands of ridiculously good looking girls to a final twenty, each of whom now represent a different team in the Campeonato Brasileiro Série A (Brazilian football’s top flight).

Last week, said finalists were put to the test on a TV show set to determine Brazil’s hottest lady who can pretend to like a football club, and a panel of esteemed judges including 1970 World Cup winning captain Carlos Alberto Torres assessed them in three disciplines. First came the grueling bikini contest, then the challenge of wearing a (skimpy) outfit befitting of their club, and  finally they were quizzed about their chosen side. Probably while wearing very little.

The winner will be crowned on December 6th, and to help the decision making process, each Musa has kept a blog containing steamy videos and pictures. Check out some fine samples after the jump…

The mahogany one sends a lady of loose morals packing

Another piece of football gossip has reared its head at Spoiler Towers, courtesy of Crazy Days and Nights:

This former female reality star and now just a D list wannabe decided to make a move on the mahogany one also known as Ronaldo. She offered her services to him for the evening at a reasonable $5000 at which point he laughed and laughed and said, “Look around. Look at me. Why would I pay for anyone?”

Spoiler truth-o-meter: If a story involves Cristiano Ronaldo and prostitutes, it is almost certainly 100 per cent true. If you wish to know the identity of the lady in question, the commenting folk here have a pretty good idea.

This really could be the end of western civilisation

About a year ago, rumours were circulating that MTV were putting together a show called ‘I want to be a WAG’. The series would see a ‘mystery’ international footballer date twenty wannabe WAGs over a period of eight weeks. At the end of the show, he will have to propose to his chosen beau.

Obviously spurred on by the raging success that was Totally Jodie Marsh, MTV have decided to