It’s FC Bunyodkor’s Gene Hackman look-alike Luiz Felipe Scolari!

Since arriving in Italy, Jose Mourinho’s €11m salary has cemented his status as the best paid manager in the world. This morning, however, it has been revealed that The Special One’s huge remuneration package has been eclipsed by that of another Chelsea alumnus. After signing an eighteen-month contract with Uzbekistani side FC Bunyodkor, Big Phil Scolari will now take home an annual pay packet of €13m.

Bunyodkur - who recently changed their name from PFC Kuruvchi to “reflect their success” - first came to international prominence last summer, when they claimed to have secured the services of Samuel Eto’o. Despite the Cameroonian’s passionate love for clubs who are willing to pay him more money than he is worth, the deal never went through.

Since the Eto’o spectacle, Bunyodkur have introduced several Brazilians to their side,

World Cup winning manager joins the prestigious Uzbek League

Last summer, an Uzbek side named PFC Kuruvchi tried to make us believe they had signed Samuel Eto’o, and then raised a few eyebrows when they invited Cesc Fabregas, Andres Iniesta and Carles Puyol to train with them.

Since then, PFC have changed their name to FC Bunyodkor (to reflect their professionalism on the pitch, apparently), and acquired the services of 37-year-old World Cup cheat Rivaldo (for a ridiculous £80,000 a week) and manager Zico.

Zico departed for CKSA Moscow in January, leaving the head coach’s position wide open. According to the Brazilian press, Luiz Felipe Scolari has stepped up and signed an 18-month contract with the club.

Scolari explained

Yes, some crazy person had enough free time to make this

Admittedly, Sister Act/ footballer mash-ups are exactly common, but this is by far the best example we’ve seen. Stick with it until (2.40) for an angelic Cristiano Ronaldo solo.

[Dirty Tackle]

The players who go down quicker than Danielle Lloyd at a Manchester Utd Christmas party

Morten Gamst Pedersen - who we hear has taken his phone off the hook and barricaded himself into his house in an attempt to stop the ridicule - threw his hat into the ring for worst dive of the century against Arsenal on Saturday. But who has been responsible for the most unsporting pratfalls in football history? The Spoiler’s Richard Gilzene considers the top ten divers in the history of the beautiful game…

Didier Drogba
Jose Mourinho aside, Jens Lehmann’s is the most galling departure from the Premiership in recent years, if only for the massive entertainment void he left behind. Pitted against another big character in Didier Drogba during his acrobatic pomp, it made sense the pair would team up midway through a tense London derby clash in the 06/07 season, to resurrect the spirit of a 1920s slapstick vaudeville act.

Keeper’s phoney antics put Rivaldo and Dida to shame

With a heartfelt performance and perfect technique, this rogue goalkeeper is destined to sweep the board at the Cheaties* (a prestigious annual award ceremony that honours dishonourable conduct in sport). Anybody know who he is?

[The Offside]

*Award ceremony may or may not exist