Football panto villain gets odd looks from passport control…
Crown The Spoiler a 21st century prophet. Yesterday, we opined that professional footballers were now so girly, they’d eventually become indistinguishable from the fairer sex. Less than a day later, and The Sun reports Robbie Savage had to miss a flight with Derby County after mistaking his wife’s passport for his own. Nostradamus ain’t got s**t on us.
The Rams were jetting off on a 4am flight to Amsterdam, for last night’s friendly against ADO Den Haag (which they lost 1-0). On discovering his new passport photo flattered him immensely, Savage had to dash back home whilst staff waited on standby to check him into an afternoon flight:
“I offered to shave my beard and put on some make-up and then I’d have looked like my missus! What worries me slightly is that when I suggested it, some said I might get away with it!
We doubt it, Robbie. The Welsh midfielder made it to the ground minutes before kick-off, but had to settle with starting on the subs bench.
Stephen Bywater chooses the perfect time to prank a teammate
At the start of the season, morale at Derby County was so low that players were willing to sneak through windows if it meant escaping Paul Jewell’s regime. That’s all changed under Nigel Clough though. Robbie Savage is a first-team regular again having been sent to Brighton on loan earlier this season and his teammates are delighted to have him back. Stephen Bywater decided to show his love for the Welshman by showering him with drink live on Sky Sports News. Be sure to check out Savage’s face as he realises what’s about to happen but has nowhere to run.
Pilot Pablo Mason is a hero. Not only has he grown a moustache that most men could only dream of owning, but he led Tornado jets on 23 bombing missions over Iraq during the Gulf War, sticking it to Saddam on each occasion. However, thanks to his decision to accommodate the whims of Robbie Savage, the 57-year-old has lost his £90k a year pilot job:
Captain Mason, who became an airline pilot after leaving the RAF, lost his job after taking Blackburn Rovers home on a private charter flight following a match in Finland in August.
His crime was to allow one of the players, Robbie Savage, to spend most of the three-hour journey on the Airbus A320’s flight deck to help allay his fear of flying.
Flight deck visits have been banned since 9/11, but Mason protested during his employment tribunal with “bureaucratic nincompoops” MyTravel Thomas Cook that a Premiership footballer did not pose a terrorist threat.
The Welshman has started less league games than John O’Shea
Sir Alex Ferguson, Alan Hansen and Robbie Savage have all taken turns this week to talk up Ryan Giggs as the most deserving winner of the PFA Player of the Year but The Spoiler does not believe that he should win it this season.
The Welsh midfielder is arguably the greatest footballer in the Premier League’s history and probably deserves some kind of award recognising his overall contribution to English football but it wouldn’t be right for someone who has started just nine of Manchester United’s 24 league games (37.5%) to date this season to be crowned the year’s standout performer.
Well coiffed star is a little frank about extra-curricular activities
Robbie Savage’s loan spell at Brighton & Hove Albion was recently cut short, but not before he had time to reveal all about his habits away from the football field.
When a local radio station asked him how he passed the time in Brighton, they may have been expecting him to say he kept up with fashion in The Lanes, or perhaps that he went to the Sealife Centre. “Oh I just sit in my hotel room watching porn,” he said.
Perhaps the blonde midfielder would be better suited at FC Copenhagen.
Robbie Savage keen to prove he isn’t a blonde bimbo
Obviously discontented with driving his fleet of luxury cars around all day long, Derby midfielder Robbie Savage will be heading off to university. He will be attending a two year course at the Stafford University, tackling one of the most challenging courses available - media studies:
“Having been on the receiving end of the media all my career I’m going to start learning the tricks of the trade.”
Savage was in great danger of developing some sort of likeable quality after declaring this studious intention, but he proceeded to remind us all why he’s actually quite irritating:
“I’ll be careful on the campus though and not park the old Lamborghini outside the students’ union.”
Earlier this week Manchester United’s Nemanja Vidic decided to share his less than flattering comments about the quality of life in Manchester, with particular reference to his fondness for the timetables at Piccadilly station, and the way they so beautifully illustrate the multitude of opportunities to leave the city.
Then yesterday Emmanuel “eighty-grand-a-week” Adebayor pops up to express his frustration with the British taxation system and the iniquity of the £8 congestion charge, seemingly unaware of his own recent success in diverting huge sums of money from the pocket of the little person straight into his own.
As if that weren’t enough, joining the chorus of England-bashers is leading Welsh irritant Robbie Savage, who according to the Daily Mail has told his Derby teammates it is time for him to leave the country altogether. It is, apparently, “too cold in England.” People of the Gulf, prepare yourselves for a display of ferocious tackling and magnificent automobiles!
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