van Persie, Fabregas and Arshavin > Henry, Pires and Bergkamp?

After Arsenal’s 4-1 Champions League cakewalk against the Eredivisie champions last night, Arsene Wenger was moved to compare his young team to the unbeaten Gunners squad of 03/04:

We’ve never had as many options on the creative side. We still have Nicklas Bendtner and Theo Walcott who are offensive players who are not available.

Denilson, Eduardo, Tomas Rosicky did not start - that is why I was amazed when people said, ‘Buy, buy, buy’. And Carlos Vela as well… I forgot him!

Fair assessment, or another one of Le Prof’s attempts to tack an extra psychological boost onto an impressive performance? Ljungberg, Henry, Pires and Bergkamp had racked up 16 goals and 10 assists in all competitions by this time in 03/04 season; while van Persie, Arshavin, Bendtner and Fabregas are already on 24 goals and 23 assists.

In terms of depth, Wenger has a point - as backups go, Eduardo, Rosicky and Nasri are a more desirable trio of reinforcements than Reyes, Wiltord and Kanu were. But does the overall attacking quality of the squad match up?

Under 21 side make a pig’s ear of scoring opportunity

Scientists who obviously had no diseases to cure recently discovered the technique for a perfect penalty: the taker should approach at an angle 20 to 30 degrees, hit the ball at 65mph, and aim exactly half a metre inside the crossbar and either goalpost.

Clearly, this stunning scientific development has yet to reach Portgual, as demonstrated in the national team’s U21 performance against the mighty Cape Verde yesterday.

Sporting’s midfielder Bruno Pereirinha attempted to recreate Johan Cruyff’s legendary passed penalty, by knocking the ball to Porto’s Rui Pedro. The plan was thwarted when a defender intercepted, and the pair were left looking as stupid as Thierry Henry and Robert Pires did in 2005.

Fortunately, the crappy spot kick had no effect on the result, as Portugal were 2-0 victors.

[Off The Post]

Gunners Alumni continue to face misfortune

Whether Arsene Wenger has developed a knack for selling players at exactly the right moment, or there is some genuine witchcraft going on, it seems that Arsenal players who move on to ‘better their careers’ don’t seem to be able to live up to expectations.

When making his home debut for Barcelona at the weekend, delicate little flower Alex Hleb was forced off the pitch with an ankle injury that will keep him out of action for three or four weeks.

Also facing misfortune during Barcelona’s 1-1 draw with racing Santander at the weekend was Thierry Henry, who was left out of the squad following a disappointing display in a 1-0 defeat to La Liga newbies Numancia two weeks ago.

Continuing the trend of stars who have failed to live up to the form and success they experienced in a red and white shirt is Mathieu Flamini, who has thus far failed to set Serie A alight with Milan, who are maintaining a 100 per cent league loss record so far. Also, when the Frenchman’s former colleagues travel to the Ukraine to begin the Champions League campaign proper,

The latest transfer news fresh from the rumour vine

Arsene Wenger recently rocked the footballing world by sending a fax to Milan, warning them to stop sniffing around Emmanuel Adebayor. The threat in itself wasn’t the shock, but rather his method of communication - Internazionale’s fax machine had probably been lying dormant since 1989 when the Frenchman’s choice words came through. If he runs out of fax paper, which surely can’t be bought in the 21st century, he’ll probably end up sending a telegram or a small messenger boy in a toga to Barcelona…

Emmanuel Adebayor to Barcelona
Arsene Wenger had just finished mopping his brow at the news Milan would accept Arsenal’s decision not to sell Adebayor when Barcelona rode in to declare the striker their number one target.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: A possibility considering Eto’o is leaving

Dani Guiza to Arsenal
But don’t fear Arsenal fans, what better way to recover from the loss of the Premier League’s joint-second goalscorer than by replacing him with La Liga’s number one?

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Maybe, Champions League clubs are bound to chase

Claude Makelele, Lillian Thuram, Robert Pires and Ludovic Giuly to Paris Saint Germain
Some bright spark at PSG has decided it would be a stroke of genius to bring together a group of French veterans who would surely take the league by storm and guarantee instant success.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: It seems not everyone in France watched Euro 2008

Peter Crouch to Portsmouth
Harry Redknapp has told

Could Kevin Keegan’s fantasy of signing the old crock come true?

Seems like Thierry Henry, signed with great fanfare during the summer as the best person to help return Barcelona’s foot to its rightful place on Real Madrid’s throat, is not having quite the desired effect on their fortunes. Neither Barcelona nor Mr Henry are particularly thrilled at this outcome. Henry’s former teammate, Robert Pires, who now trundles around at Villarreal, said at the weekend “If I told you Thierry was happy you’d call me a liar.”

Henry, who had to suffer the indignity of being substituted (something that never happened at Arsenal) in Saturday’s home defeat to Villarreal, left the stadium in a strop without waiting to say goodbye to his old chum. When Pires went to the dressing room to find him, the maestro had gone, although “He did leave me a shirt all nicely folded up,” said Pires.

The reasons for Henry’s failure to set the team on fire - although he is still the second top scorer - are: 1) Too many injuries, especially a serious back problem; 2) He’s being played out of position, and often