The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Stewart Downing to Aston Villa
The Spoiler assumed that replacing Martin Laursen and Gareth Barry would be Aston Villa’s priority right now but apparently not. The Daily Mail claim that Martin O’Neill is looking to thwart Spurs (and they sure will be heartbroken!) by signing Downing on a loan deal with an option to make the move permanent.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: This has to be nonsense. Villa have a lot of work to do this summer and bringing in someone who plays in the same position as their star player Ashley Young is surely not top of the agenda.

Joleon Lescott staying with Everton
The Daily Star report that Manchester City have been priced out of a move for

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The one who isn’t the fat one in Gavin & Stacey is making light of Newcastle via Twitter
[Off The Post]

Feyenoord fans didn’t like their new kit, so they completely changed it
[The Offside]

Robinho suggests Kaka’s taste in music is even worse than Ronaldo’s
[Pies]

Abbey Clancy and her bikini make Italy a better place
[The Sun]

Interestment’s Football Window Watch: Liverpool edition
[Interestment]

Atletico Madrid insist Sergio Aguero is not for sale
[Football365]

…OK, he is for sale, but he’s very expensive
[Daily Mail]

Italian WAG Sara Tommasi is an expert in bikini wearing
[On205th]

Alan Hutton to Everton
[Goal.com]

Sadly there’s no room for player of the year Ryan Giggs here…

It’s another end of season list, but with a twist. To stop a roundup of the 08/09 Premier League team of the season descending into a top 4 love-in, we’ve tried to limit ourselves to only one player from each club. Sticklers for punishment that we are, we’re also rigidly sticking to a classic 4-4-2. It all ended up being a lot harder than we gave it credit for:

GK - Manuel Almunia (Arsenal)
Pulled off some super saves, stopped an inordinate amount of penalties, and has been good enough to have this ridiculous nonsense about him playing for England rise to the surface again. The Spanish keeper has come a long way from Jens Lehmann’s assessment he was to rubbish to play for Arsenal.

DR - Rory Delap (Stoke)
Rory Delap made a healthy contribution to securing Stoke’s top flight status, earning priceless league (and mental) victories against the big boys at a time when Stoke were looking the unfashionable new kids while Hull cakewalked it. He spent most of the season in midfield but his position is almost irrelevent for what he brings to the team.

DL - Luke Young (Aston Villa)
Playing completely out of position, covering for a crocked Wilfred Bouma and an absolutely dreadful Nicky Shorey, isn’t an ideal way to start your first season a new club, but Young has done the job manfully, without complaint and more often than not, impressively.

DC - Phil Jagielka (Everton)
One of the most reliable performers of the season until that heartbreaking injury, Jags has had a superb campaign, reaping benefits in the form of England

“Tek a bow, son(s)”

With the end of the 2008/09 campaign only 24hrs away, The Spoiler takes a look back at the season’s finest goals and reveals our picks for the twenty greatest efforts. Part one documents goals 20-11…

#20: Ryan Taylor - Wigan 2-1 Newcastle, 26/12/08

The most inspired transfer activity of the season

As The Spoiler’s end of season festivities get into full swing, today we look at the best signings of the 2008/09 Premier League campaign. Sorry Wisey, Xisco and Coloccini didn’t make the cut…

Jose Bosingwa (Porto to Chelsea, £16.3m)
Whether Jose Bosingwa (or ‘Boswinga’ if you’re Jamie Redknapp) was officially a Big Phil Scolari signing is a point of contention, but considering the four other members of his inspirational clutch of signings have only racked up 22 starts and three goals between them, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. However, what can’t be argued against is how seamlessly the full back has slotted into Chelsea’s defence this season, in a role the Blues have previously struggled to fill.

James Beattie (Sheffield Utd to Stoke, £2.5m)
It was fair to assume Beattie’s Premier League days were numbered after a pretty woeful spell at Everton earned him a move down to the Championship with Sheffield United last season. Yet after answering Stoke’s SOS call in the January transfer window, Beatts has signaled his return to the top flight by averaging nearly a goal every other game and contributing to 13 of the 24 points Stoke have picked up since his arrival. Such season-saving form might just be the best £2.5m Tony Pulis has ever spent.

Marouane Fellaini (Standard Liege to Everton, £15m)
Fellaini’s Premier League success isn’t too surprising considering the fact that 32 foreign scouts were in the crowd to watch him play in Liege’s title-winning league match last season. Still, the lanky afro cultivator was pretty much unknown to fans over here until making his mark as the driving force behind a Liege team that by all rights should’ve beaten Liverpool to Champions League qualification at the start of the season. Clocking in with an impressive nine goals and firmly establishing himself as a midfield battler, that £15m price tag everyone laughed at now looks a bit less ridiculous.

Wilson Palacios (Wigan to Tottenham, £12m)
Harry Redknapp’s transfer market dial

The games that have made this season worth watching

Now that Manchester Utd have pretty much put the final nail in the coffin of the 2008/09 Premier League title race, it’s high time that we start peddling out some end of season lists. Accordingly, here is a top ten of the campaign’s most entertaining matches, which somehow includes a game involving West Brom…

#10: West Brom 3 - 2 West Ham, 13th September

Gianfranco Zola must have been wondering what he’d signed himself up for, watching his first West Ham game from the stands before taking over as manager. A game with a neutral-baiting mix of awful defending and open attacking play, both teams managed to lose their lead twice before an 83rd minute West Brom counter attack saw Chris Brunt sprint free of the Hammers’ defence and clinically place one inside the far post.

#9: Fulham 0 - 0 Sunderland, 18th October

Sunderland’s early visit to Craven Cottage should go down as the best goalless game of the season. Fulham’s goalmouth literally took a battering. Kieron Richardson, taking time off from his usual job of lying on a physio’s table somewhere, had his 25-yard free-kick bounce between the posts twice (before having another free-kick goal disallowed) and Djibril Cisse’s rasping long ranger was saved by the crossbar. However, the Cottagers created their own opportunities in the back-and-forth battle, with Zoltan Gera having a shot cleared off the line from Pascal Chimbonda before spurning his team’s best chance with a Carragher-esque air kick.

#8: Fulham 2 - 0 Manchester Utd, 21st March

It’s testament to how crap United were

Madrid club legend linked with big money move to Eastlands

When Florentino Perez takes the Real Madrid hotseat once again this summer, there are expected to be plenty of personnel changes. This morning, Spanish paper Marca have revealed that one player who may leave is club captain Raul, who has been presented with an offer from Manchester City that would earn him €40m over four years.

Raul - who has been with Los Merengues for seventeen years - is said to have been recommended to City bosses by former colleague Robinho, who praised his capacity as a team leader. Marca claim contact has already been made with Raul’s agent Gines Carvajal.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: We really can’t see this one happening. Raul is Real Madrid, and he is expected to retire at the club. However, if the unthinkable did happen, and City deemed it appropriate to spend a fortune on a 31-year-old, the Madrid number seven shirt would be available for a certain Portuguese winger…

Finally, Man City star can play his bongos in peace

If there’s one thing Robinho loves more than half-arsed performances, Adriano sex parties and taking the bus, it’s pimping his mansion.

In February, the Manchester City star brought a Copacabana atmosphere to rainy Cheshire by installing a beach football pitch, and in his latest attempt to emulate his home nation, has installed a £30,000 soundproof music suite. In it, he can play his beloved samba music late into the night, without disturbing the neighbours who already have to put up with looking at a huge muddy sandpit in his garden.

A made-up source told The Sun: “He is always playing his bongo drums.”