The only team missing Ronaldo more than Manchester United are

Updated - now with added Guti swearing at supporters

The Real Madrid dressing room: a place full of fragile egos, littered with haircare products, and reeking of the smell of complacency. The Spanish daily Marca has this morning reported an incident that should serve as a taster, for those who would like nothing more than to press their nose against the glass, and have their own cheeky glance inside.

On entering the dressing room at half time on Tuesday night of their hilarious Copa del Rey spanking (and already three down), veteran midfielder Guti urged his collaborators in this shambles, to try harder and work a bit more. Coach Manuel Pellegrini attempting to assert some Chilean discipline instructed Guti not only to shut it, but also to get changed - he was being taken off. To which Guti simply replied:

“Stick it up your arse.”

This Galacticos Mark II era may not end well…

Coming to a computer near you…

Just who is responsible for Ronaldo’s recent run of injuries
( Dirty Tackle )

Shearer, Ince, Adams and now Southgate - just why are Venables’ EURO ‘96 side such poor managers?
( Daily Mail )

Did you spot the referee missing Lyon’s equaliser last night? The legends at 101gg did

Arsenal 04 vs Arsenal 09 - how do they compare?
( Daily Telegraph )

The week’s football in review from the lovely fellas at Interestment

“I have not finished my mission”

Democracy is a fragile thing. On the one hand, giving the people a say on who runs their affairs, often leads to a greater engagement with public affairs, and greater scrutiny of the legislature. On the other, it gives free rein to all sorts of maniacs, who can simply respond, “I was chosen by my people,” at the first hint of any criticism. And so to Joseph ‘Sepp’ Blatter, elected man of football. Kind of.

Lest we forget, the Observer newspaper reported back in 1998, how bundles of cash replaced the traditional manifesto as Blatter’s electoral weapon back in 1998. In 2002, the head of the Somalian Football Association revealed how he was offered £100,000 to vote Blatter in that year’s poll. Three years ago, Sepp was conveniently elected unopposed.

So to celebrate another imminent triumph of FIFA democracy, after the jump are four of Joseph Blatter’s finest moments, one for each year he wishes to be re-elected for.

Given up on Valencia already United fans? Don’t despair - Obertan could be the new Ronaldo.

In yesterday’s spoiler we highlighted United’s Senior Cup clash with Oldham as worth watching, for the potential debut of Gabriel Obertan. Indeed last night we got the first glimpse of Fergie’s £3m summer signing from Bordeaux, which he announced with a sly tap to the side of the nose.

Obertan’s 45 minutes last night included the following Ronaldoesque piece of jiggery pokery

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Cricket WAG Jessica Taylor does her bit for the cause of lingerie
[DJ Mick]

Why Manchester Utd are doomed this season
[Republik of Mancunia]

(Fat) Ronaldo almost got AIDs
[Dirty Tackle]

Marseille midfielder Lorik Cana could be on his way to Everton
[Daily Mail]

Carlos Tevez is excited about winning trophies at his new club
[The Telegraph]

Spurs want Klaas-Jan Huntelaar again
[Goal.com]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

A fan at the Copa Libertadores takes an unusual approach to keeping his lungs clear
[The Offside]

(Fat) Ronaldo is about to get another ‘Tranny Surprise‘
[Dirty Tackle]

Missing the point: Juventus’ new home and away strips are the same colour
[Pies]

Hull want Bobby Zamora (because things worked out so well last time they signed a Fulham player)
[Sky Sports]

Naughty journalists have been hacking Alex Ferguson and Alan Shearer’s phones
[The Guardian]

David Beckham named his child after a man who prays to alien gods
[ONTD]

Basketball WAG Carmen Electra takes to the stage, forgets her top (NSFW)
[The Sun]

Rotund Brazilian mocks defender without touching the ball

We can’t think of many Premiership defences that would let a ball remain stationary on the edge of their penalty area for over six seconds, but this is impressive stuff all the same.

[101GG]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Pants party: Arsenal man of the match Nicklas Bendtner makes a dignified nightclub exit
[Off The Post]

Video: (Fat) Ronaldo meets Wolverine star Huge Action
[Dirty Tackle]

Interestment’s Young England XI
[Interestment]

Follow us on Twitter
[Twitter]

Bayern Munich rubbish claims Chelsea are about to hijack their deal with Zenit for Anatoliy Tymoschuk
[Tribal Football]

Gianluigi Buffon and Alena Seredova step out
[Kickette]