Sighting of first not-entirely-straight professional footballer turns out to be false alarm
Memo to famous people - if you must spend time with prostitutes, take a few minutes beforehand to get your story straight in case the police get involved. The Brazilian Ronaldo, you may recall, found himself soaked in infamy last week when the ladies of the night he contracted to help him get over “a silly fight” he’d had with his girlfriend turned out to be trannies with an appetite for blackmail.
As a result, “Il Fenomeno” found himself having to talk to one of Brazil’s top talk shows - “Fantastico” - last Sunday to clear up the public’s confusion about why one of their sporting legends and lover of many great beauties should have time in his diary for such creatures,
The great centre forward, sitting in his mother’s garden and not feeling particularly fantastico himself after spending the week crying, said “I did something really stupid and now my image is going to be stained for ever because of this incident. I let myself down and made a grave mistake.”
“I caused a problem that has had huge international repercussions. The biggest mistake was to
Hot girlfriend and Nike angry at Ronaldo’s transvestite adventures
I’m no expert, but it is my understanding that attempting to conduct drug-fuelled sex parties with transvestite prostitutes can be detrimental to a relationship. Ronaldo (the buck-toothed one, not the Nereida Gallardo-boffing one) has learnt this lesson the hard way, as long-term girlfriend Maria Beatriz Anthony - who has no penis - has walked out on him:
According to Brazilian paper “Extra”, Maria Beatriz Antony, who lived with Ronaldo up to a few days ago, returned to her parents in Brasilia. Friends told the paper that she repeatedly complained about Ronaldo’s type of nightlife in Brazil since the player’s return because of an injured knee. So his latest escapade may only be the final straw that tipped the balance against him.
The paper also claims that Ronny’s lifelong sponsors Nike are considering ripping up his $100million contract, because transvestites, hookers and affairs don’t quite fit into their brand values. Jeez, these major corporations are so square…
When it comes to hiring ladies of the night, AC Milan’s Ronaldo has so much to learn from the Portuguese man-o’-sex. When C-Ron has a ‘prostitute binge day’ (known to you and I as a ‘weekday’), he is quick to make sure the hired help do not have bigger cojones than he does. His Brazilian namesake, it seems, failed to perform such stringent checks.
The tubby striker picked up some ladies in Rio de Janeiro on Saturday night, but the motel room turned into an outright sausagefest when it transpired that both girls were transvestites. The former men
Because the PFA vote neglected the last three months of action
Last night, the PFA names their team of the season, but did you know that members voted for it all the way back in January? In his BBC Sport Column, Micah Richards admits that votes were cast way back when Arsenal were on for the title and Newcastle were going down, meaning the past few months of play have not been taken into account. With that in mind, here’s our team of the season from February onwards:
Chris Kirkland
Contributed to Arsenal’s downfall with a stunning clean sheet at the JJB before stealing the spotlight again at Stamford Bridge to help Wigan to a 1-1 draw, which could prove crucial come the end of the season. Remarkably, Wigan have kept more clean sheets than any other Premier League team from February onwards.
Patrice Evra
Gael Clichy’s season went down the drain with Arsenal’s while Evra has been solid all season long at the back for Manchester United.
Nemanja Vidic
Keeps his place and, if anything, his importance to Manchester United has been magnified by their vulnerability when he has been missing.
Phil Jagielka
Dropping Ferdinand may seem harsh but a defence made up of Manchester United and Arsenal players can’t be justified when Everton have let in fewer goals in 2008 than anyone else in the country. Joleon Lescott has taken the plaudits because of his goal contribution but while he has made a few mistakes, Jagielka has grown in stature as the season’s progressed and could be close to an England call-up.
The Manchester Utd masterplan relies on another six points
Those who weren’t distracted by female steward kickings and groundsmen brawls on Saturday may have noticed that Sir Alex left Tevez and Ronaldo out of the starting line up, and played the cautious negative play that we were all treated to at the Nou Camp. It’s fair to rest some players for the Champions League games, but Fergie’s nonchalance at this stage of the title race could prove very costly.
So, were his cocky tactics a wise decision in light of United’s run in, or will it prove to be his undoing when West Ham or Wigan spoil the party?
A big pat on the back for The Spoiler and its astute readers - yesterday we told you that Manchester United would not win in Spain and 60 per cent of you voted that Messi would have a better game than C-Ron. But if Ronaldo had got the game going by actually placing the ball within the huge netted area when he took his spot kick, things could have been oh so different.
Isn’t it strange how the Liverpool/ Chelsea match turned out to be the exciting one, despite having ‘DULL’ written all over it. It’s likes we’re in topsy-turvy land, where hot snow falls up and hamburgers eat people etc.
