Alex Curran endears herself to the Merseyside population

The Spoiler has never spent a night out in Liverpool - as a bona fide member of the Soft Southern Media^© we get a nosebleed each time we venture past the Watford Gap - but we’ve heard it is laden with ruffians who engage in fisticuffs after one too many jammy donut-flavoured shots.

Merseyside-born Alex Curran confirmed our fears today, when she explained why she and her pacifist husband Steven Gerrard will be tripping the light fantastic elsewhere in future:

“[Liverpool is] not the same any more.

“To be honest, it’s rough. Everywhere new that opens attracts the wrong type of people.

“It’s not nice, so I haven’t bothered to go out.”

Merseyside police have been quick to retort by claiming the risk of being a victim of personal crime in Liverpool is the lowest of any big city in Britain, although it is unknown whether this statement is a direct result of the fact that Steven Gerrard will no longer be socialising there.

[Ooh Aah Daily Star]