No, not that one. This one

Although one suspects it’s only a matter of time..

Incorrect ball shape baffles Brazilian

“It was difficult kicking the oval ball for the first time, but after a few attempts I was able to direct it where I wanted.”

[Link]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The Beautiful Game bring us the best moments from Sky’s FanZone

Hot singer Katherine Jenkins loses rugby gig after cocaine scandal
[Polite Applause]

Alex Curran struggles to operate an umbrella
[Kickette]

MLS star plays the ol’ cellophane-the-car prank
[Behind The Badge]

Does Lewis Hamilton deserve his own set of stamps?
[Grid Crasher]

France pay the price for sticking with Domenech
[chickendinner]

Man City’s Ronaldo hopes dashed by the man himself
[BBC]

Random lady fun: Transformers star Megan Fox is clearly the hottest woman ever
[On205th]

Her measurements are 34 GG, or something like that… 

Having tired of Billy Zane’s endless Shakespearian monologues, Kelly Brook has decided that a rugby player’s brand of wit and repartee would make for just the tonic. Hence, she’s been caught draping herself about the arm of England’s great hope for the future, Danny Cipriani. Amazingly, unlike most rugby players, he doesn’t resemble a toby jug, and, thanks to some nifty headgear, his ears have retained their usual shape. Nice choice, Kell.

There’s a whopping eight year age gap between the pair, meaning that back when Danny was cross-legged watching The Flumps with a foot-long string of molten snot stretching from his nose to the floor, Kelly was already a card carrying adult with bosoms. She has, in her time, presented the Big Breakfast, pranced around joyously in just a set of knick-knacks, and starred on ITV’s terrifying apocalyptic vision of the future, Celebrity Love Island.

Best of luck to the pair of them, we say. And for those still hungry for more Kelly Brook artifacts, simply read on…

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the internet…

Remember the days when pop stars didn’t have to be pretty to be great with Joe Cocker…

Rangers fan receives rubbish birthday prez

[The Offside]

The next Lewis Hamilton lands whopping sponsorship deal

[Grid Crasher]

How best to cook a set of testicles

[Machochip]

Lindsay Lohan’s out-of-this-world unmentionables spotted

[Egotastic]

Nerdy computer kid goes ballistic

[Today’s BIG Thing]

The worst sports kit of all time

[Polite Applause]

Who will win the Golden Boot?

[Chickendinner]

Kelly Brook, Danielle Bux

We don’t need to tell you that Danielle Bux and Kelly Brook are beautiful women, it’s all there for you to see. One sultry, with smoky eyes, and hands still slippery from rubbing oil into Gary Lineker’s tanned thighs. The other cheerful and bosomy, because she’s just spent the evening getting off with Danny Cipriani in front of Hollyoaks. In fact, both girls have felt the Cipriani breath in their ears at some point, but which one is hotter?

Over on our sister site, Polite Applause, the rugby/golf/tennis fans can’t separate them. Can you? Click here to cast your votes.

This is what egg chasers call ‘banter’

We think this snap is taken from a New Zealand/ South Africa rugger match, but if anyone can confirm this they will win a super special prize*.

Click here to see the full Sporno gallery

*Super special prize may in fact be a bit rubbish

This is what rugger folk refer to as ‘banter’

Thanks to Osagie for this superb egg chasing Sporno.

Click here to see the full Sporno gallery