The story that could be hitting the tabloids soon…

After a dreadful start to the campaign, it seems that things keep getting worse for Tottenham Hotspur. The Spoiler has been informed that there is a lady in her sixth month of pregnancy, claiming the father to be a White Hart Lane star. The bun in the oven is the result of a two year fling, of which the player’s long-term girlfriend knows nothing. The expectant lady is reluctant to tell all to the press for fear of coming across as a ‘man stealer’.

German-accented moaning overheard at the Bridge

In this deceitful world, The Spoiler feels proud to be discreet. We don’t go around blurting about everyone’s business, which is why we’re not going to tell you which talented German in the Chelsea ranks has got his knickers in a twist over playing for the club. The brunette in question has been rocked by the arrival of Deco, Lampard’s lack of departure, and is apparently facing another season attempting to break free from the bench. After a decent season, he probably thought he’d proved his point, but the whisper is that Scolari is more inclined to the Lampsie/Deco combo. At 31-years-old, the mystery player’s days in the sun are numbered, so it looks like he might be flying himself and his new wife, Mrs Ballack, to another club/country before the summer’s out.

The mahogany one sends a lady of loose morals packing

Another piece of football gossip has reared its head at Spoiler Towers, courtesy of Crazy Days and Nights:

This former female reality star and now just a D list wannabe decided to make a move on the mahogany one also known as Ronaldo. She offered her services to him for the evening at a reasonable $5000 at which point he laughed and laughed and said, “Look around. Look at me. Why would I pay for anyone?”

Spoiler truth-o-meter: If a story involves Cristiano Ronaldo and prostitutes, it is almost certainly 100 per cent true. If you wish to know the identity of the lady in question, the commenting folk here have a pretty good idea.

Partying curbed to impress old man in designer spectacles

A Spoiler sneak has learned from an ex- England footballer the reason for Rio Ferdinand’s lack of attendance at Wayne Rooney’s summer wedding. Apparently, Fabio Capello implied that the Manchester Utd star would only be made permanent captain of his national side if he cut out his wild partying ways.

By missing his good chum’s knees-up, he felt it sent a message to the Italian that his that his black eye-wielding, doomed-Christmas-party-organising days are over.

Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Sounds like a reasonable excuse to miss the wedding, but surely the ‘merking’ one can’t go long before he does something stupid

Someone has been very naughty indeedie

People who know people have it on pretty good authority that a certain oily face of BBC Sport has been banned from flying with a top British airline after being caught receiving oral sex from his generous girlfriend on a transatlantic flight.

As a result, he won’t be flying for six months with the field leaders. And yes, he was in business class.

A spokesman for the airline told The Spoiler, “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”

That’s all the confirmation we need! Naughty boy.