Statistics make worrying reading for Magpies

Newcastle fans are so caught up in the loss of Kevin Keegan and the imminent football apocalypse that his absence will cause, that they haven’t considered an even more daunting prospect: Sunderland might finish above them for the first time since 2000/01 season!

Here’s why:

1. When Sunderland finished above Newcastle in 1999-00, the Magpies switched manager - Ruud Gullit out, Bobby Robson in - less than a month into the season.

2. In the last three seasons where a manager has left Newcastle within a month of the season starting - 1998-99, 1999-00, 2004-05 - the club have finished the season in the bottom half.

3. The last time Sunderland survived

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Tenuous link to sport alert: British gymnast Alison Carroll is the new Lara Croft
[On205th]

Video: All your efforts at parallel parking are about to be put to shame
[Grid Crasher]

Why KP could bring home the Ashes
[chickendinner]

China faked the firework display in the Olympic opening ceremony? Is that possible?
[WithLeather]

Ruud Gullit has quit the LA Galaxy
[BBC]

Manchester City insist they are ‘not in jeapardy’
[Football 365]

Tomorrow’s headlines today…

Already got excitable bouncing legs because you can’t wait for tomorrow’s football news? Chill out with these little teasers…

Real Madrid lurch in for Kaka
In a move about as predictable as every single sentence ever uttered by Alan Shearer, Real Madrid have switched their sights from Cristiano Ronaldo to Mr Kaka of AC Milan. The whisper on the grapevine suggests that Kaka, a child of God, doesn’t much like Ronaldinho, his new club mate who looks like a cross between Chris Rock and a funny cartoon horse. Whether they can afford the £68 trillion price tag is a different matter.

Solano off to the Galaxy
West Ham’s inexplicable decision to release the only player who offered a pinch of creativity last season could benefit David Beckham’s side, LA Galaxy. Nobby’s agent has revealed that they have spoken to Ruud Gullit and the Dutch guy smiled and nodded when talk turned to Peruvians playing in America.

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Game: See how long you can tolerate listening to ‘Become a WAG’ by Stacie and Stevie Smith. I managed 1.39
[MySpace]

Lewis Hamilton to be richer than David Beckham
[Grid Crasher]

Maria Sharapova agrees to a photoshoot
[SportsByBrooks]

Boston Red Sox fan loses lawsuit for hurting the hand of the chap who punched him
[FanIQ]

Have Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split?
[Machochip]

La Galaxy’s leader Ruud Gullit says the team is suffering from a ‘lack of leadership’. Right…
[TheOffsideRules]

Totally random: Three leaked tracks from the new Oasis album
[BunnyWithFangs]

But it’s amateur hour in California, says Ruud Gullit

In recent weeks, we’ve seen pictures of David Beckham’s Zangief-like beard and love of cheerleaders’ derrieres, but we’ve heard abolsutely nothing about action on the pitch. FYI, the LA Galaxy are still in business, they are currently second in the Western Conference thingy, and Mr B is the club’s third top scorer with, er, one goal in five games.

It all seems pretty unspectacular out in California at the moment, and no one is less impressed than coach Ruud Gullit, who has been caught out by the LA Times telling the British Press about the two-bit operation he is in charge of:

“I’m sure that when people think of the Galaxy the picture that comes to mind is not of our staff making phone calls to friends on Friday to see if they can play in a reserve game on Sunday,” Gullit told writer Brian Doogan. “But, strange as it may seem, this is the reality.”

The Galaxy did not have enough players

If you thought Posh was LA Galaxy’s hottest WAG…

With the exception of David Beckham, Landon Donovan is easily the most famous LA Galaxy employee. Well, if you discount Ruud Gullit, that is. And Abel Xavier. Anyway, in light of his semi-famous status, Donovan has secured himself a semi-famous wife in the form of actress and model Bianca Kajlich. Not only is she very pretty, but she has a tattoo, meaning she’s all edgy and stuff.