Things get even harder for Rafa, Arsenal stroll to victory…

Arsenal 4/ AZ Alkmaar 1

Cesc Fabregas (angrily) opened the scoring 25 minutes into Arsenal’s televised training match against the Dutch champions; Samir Nasri doubling the Gunners’ lead with an exquisite shoulder drop. Second half strikes from Fabregas and Abou Diaby wrapped up the win, although Alkmaar bagged a late consolation in the form of a Jeremain Lens toe punt.

At the final whistle, there was only one question on the lips of a half empty Emirates… what the f**k has happened to the Dutch league?

Lyon 1/ Liverpool 1

Last minute comebacks are meant to be reserved for Liverpool, although it seems Lisandro Lopez didn’t get the memo. The Argentinean striker took advantage of some suicidal injury time defending to cancel out Ryan Babel’s impressive 83rd minute strike, signaling most Reds fans to start checking which TV channels are still showing Europa League football.

In a game of stark contrasts, Andriy Voronin plumbed new depths of unacceptable wankery, while Lyon keeper Hugo Lloris did a lot more to justify his billing as Football Manager-endorsed Keeper of the Future than Igor Akinfeev had on Tuesday.

The question that keeps us all awake at night

We’ll start with Benty (DBTheTruth). Well yesterday afternoon he informed us that, “Some one just got absolutly worked on fifa,” thus introducing a tremendous new adjectival passive verb into the English vernacular.

Yes, yes I hear you cry. But what will Darren be up to later on today? Well he won’t be training with the England squad. However, just an hour ago, Darren tweeted, “After training fifa and cod all day on the XBOX people” (for the uninitiated COD refers to Call of Duty, a highly popular video game.) But in case you’re thinking that doesn’t sound much like a full afternoon’s cultural experience, Darren adds seconds later, “How could I forget and watching heroes in between too.”

Not such lazy times for Ryan Babel (RyanBabel19) however. He is travelling with the Dutch international squad (no, really, he is) and has been the victim of a serious crime. Cryptically, Babel tweeted late last night, “Just got out the plane and guess what : They STOLE stuff out my Bag in Holland…” Poor Liverpool players. Their houses are perennially robbed at home, and even on their travels, there is no safe haven.

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How to avoid a transfer to Stoke by Christian Lell
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Follow us on Twitter
[Twitter]

Interestment give us an update on the world of football
[Interestment]

How the crappy Newcastle away kit came to pass
[ChannelBee]

Hertha Berlin refuse to comment on Roman Pavlyuchenko loan deal
[Goal.com]

Ryan Babel could be off to Ajax
[Caught Offside]

Yeah, that was a pretty crappy transfer deadline day
[The Telegraph]

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Pay attention, you might learn something

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Ryan Babel is rapping once again
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Dimitar Berbatov suffers from chronic hat hair
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South Africa throw a party for their uncompleted World Cup stadium
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This year’s Italian Supercup will be held in… Beijing
[Dirty Tackle]

Are Villa chasing Micah Richards?
[Caught Offside]

Tevez wants to stay at Manchester Utd
[Daily Mail]

Even though their in financial dire straits, Valencia won’t sell David Villa to Manchester City
[The Telegraph]

Serial WAG threatening to publish her shameless exploits

In a recent survey, it was revealed that approximately 101 per cent of Premier League footballers had boffed not-a-racist glamour model Danielle Lloyd (there’s a one per cent margin of error).

The 25-year-old topless model has made the front page of the Daily Star today (a slot she seems to share solely with Chanelle Hayes and Lucy Pinder) as she is at the centre of a six-figure bidding war for the rights to publish her “X-rated autobiography”. This, of course, spells bad news for her legions of famous partners:

The sexy Scouser is due to lift the lid on her flings with the Premier League’s biggest names and reveal their wild playboy secrets.

Daring Dani’s sizzling new book, guaranteed to be a best-seller, will spill the beans on the stars’ cheating, ­gambling and boozing habits.

“She’s revealing loads she’s never spoken about before,” said a spokesman for the Daily Star babe.

“She’ll talk about her high profile relationships and what ­really went on behind the scenes.”

Danielle - whose known conquests include Marcus Bent , Armand Traoré, Jermain Defoe, Gerard Piqué, Ryan Babel and Teddy Sheringham - has traded off her relationships with sportsmen for years, but made her attitude towards girls who do kiss-and-tell stories very clear last January:

“Women who sell these stories have no self respect. They want to make money and be famous for saying they have slept with soccer stars. But they have no shame.”

Danielle’s book is out in October.

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Cheryl Cole talks about her muppet husband
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The noose is tightening around Big Phil’s neck
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There’s just thirteen days to go before the window is opened

In the summer everyone was expecting Xabi Alonso to move to Juventus only for coach Claudio Ranieri to eventually decide that he was too slow. The Daily Telegraph today claim that Ranieri is planning another Anfield raid, with underused duo Daniel Agger and Ryan Babel, who have eight league starts between them this season, top of his wishlist. The former Chelsea coach is poised to offer £19 million to persuade Rafael Benitez to part with his favourite substitutes. Here are today’s other major rumours:

Slaven Bilic to Sunderland
Former West Ham and Everton defender Super Slav has been backed down from 12/1 to 6/4 favourite for the Sunderland job but don’t be fooled into wasting money backing him because The Times say he is still not a leading contender.