If Wenger doesn’t need new defenders, then what does he need?

While Tottenham have got to work early and spent big on Luka Modric and Giovani dos Santos, Arsenal are still on the starting blocks, with the first sign of any transfer activity at the Emirates being quickly shot down by Arsene Wenger:

“I have been interested in Vincent Kompany ever since he was 16, but I am not interested in him this year. There is nobody I need for my team’s defensive department.”

Which of course prompts the question: what’s the point of tracking someone for six years if you have no intention to signing them? By acting much like a flirtatious girl who makes you believe she’s the one but who will quickly break your heart, perhaps Arsene is telling us he simply enjoys the thrill of the chase.

Anyway, Arsenal’s reticence to invest has spurred The Spoiler to consider where each London club needs to improve next season.

So we did a think and then gone wrote it down:

Chelsea

Top priority:
Flair players - Big Phil hasn’t just been brought to Chelsea to win trophies, he’s expected to bring some Brazilian flair to the job and make the Blues exciting to watch as well as being scarily efficient.

Fitting the bill: Ronaldinho, Kaka, Franck Ribery

Arsenal

Top priority:
Depth in midfield - Diarra then Flamini have gone, Hleb’s inconsistent, Rosicky’s injured, Gilberto’s past his best and Fabregas got tired last year so it’s clear that Arsenal need to bolster their midfield, and potentially bring in a new keeper.

Fitting the bill: Gareth Barry, Samir Nasri, Hatem Ben Arfa, Bastian Schweinsteiger

West Ham

Top priority:
New medical team/left-winger - Take away the dozen injuries West Ham had for most of last season and they’ve got perhaps the biggest squad in the league.

The left wing is a problem though: the fans turned on Boa Morte and he wants out while Etherington is always injured.

Fitting the bill: Stephen Hunt, Damien Duff, Pablo Aimar

Tottenham

Top priority:
New goalkeeper and striker

It’s like Kramer vs Kramer all over again… in a way

People of north London, lock your doors, put bars on your windows, and head upstairs to hide under a dressing table - it’s all kicking off in the transfer market. And yet again, London-bound players are being ordered to chose between Spurs and Arsenal.

Arsene Wenger has been granted full access to the club purse over the summer, and this week he should be putting a ribbon on a gorgeous £11 million deal for Marseille’s Samir Nasri. But then the trouble begins

All signs point to Wenger’s wallet 

After a bumpy ride towards the end of the season, what with all of his players dashing around like blind madmen with chainsaws, it looks like Captain Wenger is trying to steady his ship with some big name signings. But might it be too little too late? Today’s transfer rumours LOVE Arsenal…

Roque Santa Cruz to Arsenal
Might Wenger totally ditch his buy cheap/make great method by plumping for Santa Cruz, who would cost 89 gazillion Wenger pounds, and is already really good? The people who make up rumours think so.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Not feeling this one.

Louis Saha to Arsenal
With Rooney’s hip problems flaring up and Gary Neville constantly crocked, Man United are looking for extra beds in their infirmary, so Saha will be wheeled out over the summer. Arsene Wenger is thought to be lurking in the Latin quarter of Manchester, sipping hot coffee with £5 million in his pocket.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Seems unlikely, although Wenger might appreciate his Frenchness.

Samir Nasri to Arsenal
Apparently Nasri is the new Zinedine Zidane - which must be gutting for all the other new Zidanes.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: He’s young, relatively unheard of, Wenger will love him!