Former Barca hitman offered incentive for WC qualification

Samuel Eto’o may have grown a reputation as being a bit ‘difficult’, but it seems, like Didier Drogba, he’s actually all heart.

After Cameroon secured their passage to next year’s World Cup last weekend with a 2-0 win over Morocco, Eto’o made good on a promise to give every member of the squad a £30k watch.

Getting a Cameroon call-up is an extra-special affair, considering the striker has a history of giving things away to his fellow countrymen. Four years ago Samuel shelled out £60k after promising the squad two grand each should they beat Ivory Coast in n upcoming match.

His charity doesn’t stop at fellow pros though. According to Football Italia:

Eto’o is not shy of making a bet, as long as the proceeds go to charity. Three years ago, he did a deal with Ford whereby they would send an ambulance to Cameroon for every goal he scored above a certain quota.

He is now in the process of recycling Europe’s unwanted shoes, installing special bins in Spanish department store El Corte Ingles where people can donate them to charity.

[Football Italia via Dirty Tackle]

Greedy Cameroonian demands 15 per cent share of transfer fee

Barcelona may have hoped they had seen the last of Samuel Eto’o when they offloaded him to Inter Milan in exchange for a massively-overrated-yet-currently-free-scoring Swede, but the Cameroonian striker is causing more headaches in Catalonialand.

Sport this morning report that Eto’o is demanding fifteen per cent of his transfer fee to the Serie A giants, which works out at around €3m of a reported €20m fee.

The fifteen per cent fee is a standard term set out by the Association of Spanish Footballers (AFE) when players transfer between Spanish clubs, but Barca have quite rightly pointed out that Inter Milan are not a Spanish team.

Despite this startling geographical evidence, the Spanish paper say the Cameroonian has made a request for his share of a deal that he effectively forced via his abhorrent personality, and has now lodged a formal complaint. If Barcelona fail to stuff the extra cash into his bulging mattress, the matter will be settled in court.

It’s FC Bunyodkor’s Gene Hackman look-alike Luiz Felipe Scolari!

Since arriving in Italy, Jose Mourinho’s €11m salary has cemented his status as the best paid manager in the world. This morning, however, it has been revealed that The Special One’s huge remuneration package has been eclipsed by that of another Chelsea alumnus. After signing an eighteen-month contract with Uzbekistani side FC Bunyodkor, Big Phil Scolari will now take home an annual pay packet of €13m.

Bunyodkur - who recently changed their name from PFC Kuruvchi to “reflect their success” - first came to international prominence last summer, when they claimed to have secured the services of Samuel Eto’o. Despite the Cameroonian’s passionate love for clubs who are willing to pay him more money than he is worth, the deal never went through.

Since the Eto’o spectacle, Bunyodkur have introduced several Brazilians to their side,

Ibrahimovic receives a record breaking welcome in Spain

Barcelona have finally ended their search for a Swedish striker with incongruous tattoos and a tendency to bottle big games by securing the services of Zlatan Ibrahimovic this week. And as a Brucey Bonus, the Catalan giants sent that pesky Samuel Eto’o off to Inter Milan as part of the deal. Everybody wins!

To celebrate the arrival of their new striker, Barca fans turned out in force at his official unveiling last night. In the biggest player presentation in Barcelona history, a whopping 60,000 people piled into the Nou Camp to see the Swede turn up two hours late, say thank you, kiss a badge and do some keep ups.

When Ronaldinho was unveiled in 2004, just 20,000 fans turned up. Therefore, Ibrahimovic is exactly three times better than Ronaldinho in his prime. Fact.

Greedy Cameroonian cut out of Ibrahimovic swap deal

For the past few days, Barcelona have been trying their best to tempt over-rated Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic away from Inter Milan, by offering Samuel Eto’o and €40m to the Serie A side.

Spanish paper Marca, however, are now reporting that the Catalan giants are completely fed up with the Cameroonian’s behaviour and extraordinary demands, and so will offer €75m and Alexander Hleb instead.

It looks like Eto’o may now destined to rot on the Nou Camp bench.

We’re going to go and lie down for a bit - that sudden rush of schadenfreude was a little overwhelming…

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Douglas Costa to Manchester Utd
The Times claim the Red Devils are moving closer to securing the services of Gremio’s highly-rated midfielder Douglas Costa. Despite being just 18, the Brazilian club are trying to get £20m for their free kick specialist.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: That’s a helluva lot of cash for a teenager with twelve senior club appearances to his name. Surely this will only happen if Gremio lower their asking price.

Mirko Vucinic to Tottenham
‘Arry has been linked to the Roma forward for a few weeks, and Italian daily Il Tempo believe a €20m bid is on the immediate horizon. Roma are said to be in desperate need of cash, and the man who has perfected the stripping goal celebration may become a high profile sacrifice.

Striker no longer wishes to speak to his employer

According to this morning’s Daily Star, Barcelona are ready to accept Manchester City’s £25m offer for Samuel Eto’o, so that they may partially fund a £40m bid for their former employee Cesc Fabregas.

Barca president Joan Laporta supported this theory with an appearance on TVE show 59 Segundos (59 Seconds) last night, where he revealed the extent to which the relationship between the player and the club has deteriorated. Eto’o will apparently no longer answer his phone to the Barca head honcho:

“I’ve called a couple of times, but he did not answer. I do not know if the number has changed, or if his entourage has told him something.

“We have always had a clear and direct relationship. We offered him two more years and we look forward to his response.”

The Spoiler thinks Barcelona should wash their hands of the unprofessional Cameroonian, who appears to be holding them to ransom. In light of these antics, perhaps Manchester City should think twice before meeting his astronomical wage demands…

A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies 

Gokhan Inler to Arsenal
With primary target Melo almost certain to join Juventus, Arsenal have been forced to look elsewhere for a new midfielder. However, reports suggest Arsene Wenger is restricting his search to Serie A and now wants to sign £10 million-rated Gokhan Inler from Udinese.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Arsenal were linked with the Swiss international a lot last summer so hopefully this doesn’t drag on as long as the Andrey Arshavin saga did, especially as this transfer window has been fairly interesting and unpredictable so far.

Tuncay to Everton or Aston Villa
Middlesbrough’s local paper the Evening Gazette states that Aston Villa are looking to complete a £20 million double deal for Stewart Downing and