The nation’s hottest WAG officially goes off the market

Having met Peter Crouch many times during his Southampton days, The Spoiler knows for a fact that he is a thoroughly decent chap, and undoubtedly one of the most genuine characters in the game today.

However, we can no longer hide the fact that we secretly hate the man who has somehow managed to persuade Abbey Clancy to spend the rest of her life with him. The Sun begrudgingly reports:

“He has been thinking about getting engaged for some time. But he wanted to wait for the ideal moment.

“As a bit of a romantic, he thought it would be a great idea to ask Abbey to marry him when it was just the two of them together in Sardinia.”

His agent Jonathan Barnett confirmed the pair are engaged.

After Crouchie “put a ring on it” in Sardinia, the couple then jetted off to Ibiza. It’s known known whether the Portsmouth star was wearing his ‘Luckiest bastard int he world’ T-shirt when he began his second holiday with one of the nation’s finest bikini wearing talents, but he damn well should have been.

Spoiler bonus: Some classic Abbey hotness after the jump…

… the bird to irritating photographers

Until yesterday, Cristiano Ronaldo was only too happy to let the world see his collection of hideously short shorts, and his pneumatic (and officially not hot) girlfriend Nereida Gallardo.

But now things have turned ugly. A group of his friends (probably courted from Facebook) flooded a boat carrying pesky paparazzi, and then the tricky winger gave a rude hand gesture, which our American cousins inexplicably refer to as ‘flipping the bird’.

Personally, I’m glad he’s started to shake things up. His never-ending holiday was starting to look as boring as the Rooney honeymoon…

[Machochip]

Man Utd star straddles his other inflatable plastic friend

Showing his obvious fondness for ‘frolicking’, the world’s vainest man got to grips with a purple and yellow deer thing yesterday while enjoying the Sardinian coastline.

While C-Ron’s regression to a childlike state is charming to see, his choice of swimwear is not. The tricky winger has graduated from tucking his boardshorts into themselves, to the sort of minuscule swimwear that only Scandinavians deem appropriate for public use:

More pictures of Ronaldo’s Casino Royale trunks and Nereida’s latest skimpies after the jump…