The Spoiler

Jose Mourinho back on the television tonight


For those not invited to celebrate the birthday of Robert Pires 

Na na na na na

The U17 World Cup continues at 3pm on Eurosport 2, as Italy’s nippers attempt to take revenge for 2002 and all that, by beating some South Korean children.

Three matches this evening covering a range of footballing competition. If you like your football young, catch Wales vs Scotland in the Victory Shield at 7:40pm on Sky Sports 1. If you like your football second-rate, Man United reserves try to take their own revenge against the Liverpool counterparts, MUTV from 7.

And finally, if you like your football preening, the Special One hosts Walter Zenga’s Palermo, looking to go four points clear at the top of Serie A. The game is on ESPN at 7:45.

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Posted: October 29th, 2009 by Eliot Pollak

Liverpool target Stoke defender, Gazza’s OCD and Darren Fletcher’s excuses


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John Barnes explains Gazza’s OCD
[ChannelBee]

Ten ways to meet footballers
[Soccerlens]

Ryan Shawcross to Liverpool
[Goal.com]

Spurs target Crystal Palace striker Victor Moses
[Daily Mail]

Darren Fletcher blames the referee - not Scotland’s ineptitude - for the Norway defeat
[The Guardian]

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Posted: August 13th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Highlights: England earn a draw in Amsterdam


Fabio fumes at relaxed defending

Netherlands 2/ England 2
Thanks to suicide defending from Rio Ferdinand and Gareth Barry, The Three Lions endured a very uncomfortable first half in Amsterdam. Fabio Capello blamed an abundance of confidence, rather than general crappiness, for the unforced errors. Fortunately, Jermain Defoe saved their graces with his one-man rescue operation.

Spoiler bonus: British licence fee payers were outraged last night as the BBC decided to show Scotland’s woeful attempt to qualify for the World Cup. Lowlights after the jump…

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Posted: August 13th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Should Celtic and Rangers be invited into a re-vamped Premier League?


Simon Jordan moots new league proposals

Celtic and Rangers doing their thang

Crystal Palace’s orange-faced goon chairman Simon Jordan has nothing to do with the Premier League or the Scottish Premier League, but the Daily Record have sought after his well-paid opinion on the matter of whether the Old Firm should be invited to join in with the fun in England:

“Football is evolving all the time and this would be great for the Scottish clubs but they should pay to come down.

“I’d suggest £100million and the immediate financial benefits that arise for both clubs would soon cover it. Their share price would go through the ceiling on the back of massive revenue increases.

“The SPL does not attract a worldwide audience - the Premier League does. It would

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Posted: April 20th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Football journalists duped into watching homoerotica


Interweb saboteur gets the better of Scottish scribes

Here’s a cautionary tale for anyone who opens nonchalantly opens email attachments, courtesy of The Telegraph:

One gentleman of the Scottish football press, who shall not be identified, was this week tipped off by a contact that phone camera footage had emerged from the Celtic dressing room of the recent punch-up between Artur Boruc and Aiden McGeady and could be found on a certain website.

The journo involved promptly passed this info to a substantial number of colleagues, most of whom went straight online to witness the fun. They certainly got full-blooded man-on-man action, but in the form of extremely graphic gay male porn.

To make matters worse, the download had a viral element that kept it on screen, despite frantic efforts to erase it. Nor could the desperate scribes turn to their IT departments for help as accessing porno sites is an office no-no.

Which is why the editorial floors of several newspapers were treated to the sight of football writers frantically scrabbling under their desks to disconnect power and communication cables from their PCs before colleagues could leap to wholly erroneous conclusions.

At least, that is the explanation currently being offered by the gentlemen involved.

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Posted: February 20th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

WAG No. 233: Clair Meek


The top heavy model who fell for a love rat’s charms

The Premier League and Serie A are chock full of romantics, but it’s good to know there are also Casanovas operating in Scotland. Model Clair Meek met Rangers keeper Allan McGregor in September 2007 at a fancy ball, and they duly conducted a romance. This came to an abrupt end, however, when Clair discovered McGregor was already living with a partner, and had also been selling his footballer goodness to a slew of fabulous ladies.

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Posted: December 4th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Video highlights: England reserves overcome Germany


Xenophobic tabloid headline writers get their wish

Germany 1/ England 2

After gifting Patrick Helmes an equaliser, lucky England captain John Terry brought joy to the nation (and delight to a certain website editor who profited from goalscorer and correct score bets) as Germany were handed their first defeat in Berlin since 1973. March on, boys.


Spoiler bonus:
Diego Maradona enjoyed a winning debut at a half empty Hampden Park, while Carlos Queiroz’s Portugal took a pounding six goal pounding at the hands of Brazil. See highlights of both after the jump…

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Posted: November 20th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Xavi transfer update, thieving strikers and Gisele Bündchen


Also appearing on a computer near you…

Defending in the Greek Super League is a lot “punchier”
[The Offside]

A glimmer of hope for Scotland as they prepare for Diego Maradona’s Argentina
[chickendinner]

The best ways to watch football online
[Soccerlens]

How to enrage the entire nation of Poland: call their F1 driver ugly
[Grid Crasher]

Vote for your favourite Liverpool shirt of all time
[EPL Talk]

Boca Juniors striker Lucas Viatri has been caught stealing
[Dirty Tackle]

Xavi might not be coming to the Premier League after all
[Footy Latest]

Tom Brady’s WAG Gisele Bündchen is showered in sparks
[On205th]

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Posted: November 19th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey