England/Andorra, World Cup Qualifier, 8.15pm, ITV1

The Three Lions are ever-so-slight 1/200 favourites to make it seven wins out of seven in the World Cup qualifiers against an Andorra side who have never won away from home. This is how The Spoiler would line up.

We disagree with the idea of playing Gary Neville ahead of Glen Johnson, who is a yellow card away from suspension. Fabio Capello wants everyone available to face Croatia at home but we feel having players ruled out for the game after that away to Ukraine could prove just as dangerous.

The biggest talking point is who will partner Frank Lampard in midfield with Gareth Barry suspended and Michael Carrick, Owen Hargreaves and Scott

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Scott Parker thrashes around like a fish out of water during last night’s game
[Dirty Tackle]

Danielle Lloyd has been made a WAG again by a Spurs star
[The People]

Ashley Cole has been arrested for being a moron drunk and disorderly
[Football365]

Eyal Berkovic assaulted a coach who substituted his son
[Off The Post]

Fabregas says he will leave Arsenal if Wenger goes
[Daily Mail]

Leo Messi laughs off the £100m Manchester City transfer rumours
[Sky Sports]

Want to demonstrate that you’re technically proficient than Gary Megson? Join us on Twitter before everyone gets bored with it
[Twitter]

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

The latest gossip from the transfer rumour mill is likely to make uncomfortable reading for a certain brainy Frenchman…

Cesc Fabregas and Robin van Persie to Barcelona

The Daily Star claim that the La Liga leaders are planning to “rip the heart out of Arsenal” with a £45m bid for their captain and resident William Gallas irritant. Fabregas has been a long term target for the Spaniards, who also feel that RvP “has matured and in ready for the move”.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Fabregas has already said he will make a decision on his future at the end of the season, and both may be tempted by the prospect of league silverware at Barca. Obviously, Wenger will do absolutely everything to keep this pair, but he was powerless to stop delicate little flower Alex Hleb from moving there in the summer.

No one going to Manchester City
Sky Sports are reporting that Mark Hughes has had a “substantial and improved bid” (£12m+ according to some sources) for Roque Santa Cruz rejected. West Ham have also rejected a City bid for Scott Parker and Craig Bellamy.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Blackburn’s attempts to keep their star striker

The latest gossip, rumours and fairly ridiculous lies

On the day that Carlos Tevez tried to make peace with Manchester Utd by slagging them off and touting a move to Spain in a phone call to The Sun, the transfer rumour mill is kicking out some brilliant nonsense…

John Terry to Manchester City
In their morning gossip column, The Guardian report that Manchester City are “about to sign John Terry, David Villa, Lionel Messi or Kaka”.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: It sounds like the Arab owners have been randomly plucking names from their tombola of famous footballers again. It’s pretty unlikely that “Mr Chelsea” will quit the Bridge anytime soon.

Matthew Upson to Arsenal
Professor Wenger is said to be interested in plugging the hole in his central defence with forgotten son Matthew Upson. In order to meet The Hammers’ £16m valuation, Arsenal are willing to throw Nicklas Bendtner

All the latest transfer rumours/gossip/lies

On the fifth day of the transfer window, there are more reports about players staying where they are than there are exciting stories of those moving on to bigger and better things. Here are today’s top rumours:

Scott Parker might not join Manchester City
Any West Ham fans that were hoping Manchester City might solve the clubs’ financial problems in one go by paying over the odds could be left disappointed. Last night Sky Sports delivered the exclusive news that Parker would sign for the club withing 48 hours but this morning they have contradicted their own story by claiming that West Ham have told them they will not be selling the midfielder.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Parker is the big name departure that would damage West Ham the least so nobody should blame the board for selling if Manchester City are really willing to pay £12 million.

Stewart Downing won’t be sold either
Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson has vowed that no star players will leave the club this month following reports that Stewart Downing would submit a transfer request today in an attempt to join Tottenham. Boro have also criticised Spurs and Harry Redknapp

The players who should have stayed put in the new year

Provided that Manchester City get their chequebook out and kick start the financial merry-go-round,  this January is sure to bring plenty of interesting movement in the transfer market. With this in Mind, The Spoiler decided to build a team of the worst January deals to go down since the window’s 2003 inception…

Ben Alnwick (Sunderland to Spurs, 2007) - £900,000
He didn’t exactly break the bank, but Alnwick has been at Tottenham for almost two years without troubling the first team. Instead, he has been farmed out on loan to Carlise, Leicester and Luton.

Jan Kromkamp (Villareal to Liverpool, 2006) - Swap
Forget finding Fernando Torres a new strike partner; Benitez’s main problem is deciding on his fullbacks: he has signed two per year for the past three years while the likes of John Arne Riise, Steve Finnan and Stephen Warnock have been shown the door. While Liverpool didn’t pay anything for Kromkamp (he was swapped for another crap right-back Josemi), he was useless. Jan made a handful of appearances but Rafa realised his mistake and moved him on just seven months later.

Jean-Alain Boumsong (Rangers to Newcastle, 2005) - £8m
Boumsong only lasted a year in the north-east but it was enough time to gain him the accolade as one half of ‘the Chuckle Brothers Live Show’, along with comedy sidekick Titus Bramble.

Ricardo Rocha (Benfica to Spurs, 2007) - £3.3m
The Portuguese has made 13 starts in the league over nearly two years and has failed

Hide your faces in shame…

Ug, is there anything worse than having all of your dreams shattered? The short answer is, of course, no, no there isn’t. Yet every year we get all excited and start hailing new saviours for the England football team, here to finally banish a million years of pain. Players like Barnes, Collymore, Gareth Barry, Walcott.

These men came to us like mighty footballing Christs, then gave us nothing but salty tears.

Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. Here’s the worst of the bunch…

GK Chris Kirkland
When Kirkland joined Liverpool in 2001, people went mental, insisting that he was the future England keeper, and would be for hundreds of years to come. Then he kept getting injured, and now Capello has more faith in David James, an 86-year-old gentleman who Liverpool fans once derided for being totally rubbish.

DL Wayne Bridge
What a breath of fresh air Bridge was when he was careering up and down the flanks at Southampton. Some even suggested that he might be better than that hateful little toad, Ashley Cole. Unfortunately, even Wayne Bridge wasn’t buying that one, and he now spends his days earning money for doing nothing, which makes him a total loser/genius.

Proof that clubs are willing to pay much more for domestic goods

The national team couldn’t muster the will to qualify for Euro 2008, but somehow clubs continue to demand mega money for home grown talent. With David Bentley costing a princely sum, Gareth Barry’s non-negotiable fee and Andy Johnson’s imminent trade, it’s clear that players are far too expensive if they were born on this tiny island.

Hence, we think the time is right to consider ten of the most overpriced Englishman currently plying their trade in the Premier League, comparing their lofty prices with some better value foreign equivalents…

Shaun Wright-Phillips
Manchester City were heartbroken to lose their star player to Chelsea, but in hindsight getting £21 million was fantastic business. Four league goals in three seasons compared to ten in his last year at Citeh highlights his failure to step up.
Foreign equivalent: Amantino Mancini to Inter - £10 million

Owen Hargreaves
£17 million might not have been too steep for a 26-year-old midfielder, but his failure to dislodge Michael Carrick, his predecessor in the overpriced stakes, shows he has yet to live up to his price-tag.
Foreign equivalent: Yaya Toure to Barcelona - just over £7 million

Scott Parker
The midfielder moved from Charlton to Chelsea to Newcastle and then to West Ham for a combined fee of £23.5 million, but has still managed just three England caps. Injury limited Parker to 17 league starts last season, meaning West Ham are yet to receive value for their £7 million investment.
Foreign equivalent: Tim Cahill to Everton - £1.5 million

Dave Kitson
The ginger striker’s invaluable contribution to Reading’s relegation battle was