UEFA organisational genii leaves ‘Scouse’ kids traumatised

An under-15s side from Skelmersdale couldn’t believe their luck when they were awarded free tickets to last week’s Champions League clash between Arsenal and Liverpool at the Emirates by UEFA. The naive youngsters, however, failed to notice they were not sitting with the away fans, and when they celebrated Dirk Kuyt’s equaliser, all heck broke loose.

Ray Radford, the brilliantly-named manager and chaperone of the Arriva Youth side, said:

“We were having a great day until Liverpool scored. We were seated smack bang in the lion’s den and were abused by grown men - men in suits.

“These weren’t louts. They started shouting at the lads as soon as they realised we were Scousers.

“They started shouting about Michael Shields and Heysel - it was pandemonium.