Pseudo-WAG launches pseudo-pop career

As a one-time conquest of Middlesbrough’s Seb Hines, Chanelle Hayes‘ relationship with the footballing world is almost as tenuous as her relationship with the music industry. Via the manipulation of double tracking, a whole heap of reverb and various other studio trickery, Chanelle has recently launched a pop career. The song is hideously derivative and uninspired, but her decision to wear lingerie throughout this generic mess is her saving grace.

Click the little picture of Chanelle in her brassiere to see her contribution to the collapse of western civilisation. Then check out Cheryl Cole’s latest effort to see which you hate more.

Reality star has had her WAG dream cruelly snatched from her

The UK media’s hunger for all things Beckham has meant even those who attempt to imitate our celeb royalty get a great deal of coverage in the press. Hence, you will probably know of Chanelle Hayes, a 20-year-old who appeared on last year’s Big Brother with the intention of emulating her heroine Posh Spice. Last week she moved one step closer to the lifestyle of her idol, as she officially became the WAG of Middlesbrough defender Seb Hines.

Today, however, it appears that her lifelong WAG ambition has been put on hiatus, as details of Hines’ pregnant live-in girlfriend and two-year-old daughter have emerged. Funny, you’d think that kind of thing would have come up in conversation on the first date…