Russian tennis beauty becomes a quarterback, throws like a girl

My future wife is so confident of victory in the Pacific Life Open, that she has decided to concentrate her energies on the world’s second favourite game named ‘football’. Maria Sharapova is a huge favourite in the tournament, and faces fellow hottie Daniela Hantuchova in the early hours of tonight - bet on her glorious ascent to the semis here.

[Busted Coverage]

The best sports on the telebox tonight

After being made to wear leggings under her tiny skirt in Qatar last week, Maria Sharapova has withdrawn from the WTA Dubai Championships. She cites a ‘viral illness’, rather than ‘the suppression of her right to grunt loudly while wearing revealing outfits in less liberal cultures’ as her excuse.

Despite this devastating blow to sexiness in the women’s game, the tournament rages on and Justine Henin remains favourite.

If Sharapova-less tennis or golf don’t grab you tonight, then be sure to watch Mitchell and Webb’s brilliant sketch show (BBC2, 9pm).

WTA Dubai Tennis Championships
Quarter-finals (British Eurosport, now-6.3.30)

Golf
Honda Classic Day One (Setanta Golf, 8pm)