Every cloud has a silver etc…

How’s about this for a saying - better to be rich and miserable, than poor and miserable. The Spoiler just made it up, and as sayings go, it’s up there with the best. The Spoiler has already pointed out that Spurs definitely won’t win a Premier League game before Christmas, but over at Paddy Power, they’re still trading at odds of 25/1 on that exact outcome. So stop drinking, Spurs fans, remove the air rifles from your mouths, and click here to make some serious money!

Nice one Juande!

If you look closely enough, it’s not all bad

Newcastle haven’t won a game for a month now, they don’t have a permanent manager - damn it, even Terry Venables doesn’t want anything to do with them. But are things really so bad up at St James’ Park? Like, HONESTLY? The Spoiler decided to search of a silver lining, and guess what brothers and sisters? We found one. You can welcome Blackburn Rovers with confidence, children of Newcastle, here’s why:

1. Newcastle haven’t failed to score in any home game this season and their opponents on Saturday, Blackburn, haven’t scored more than one goal in any of their last four.

2. The last time Keegan walked out on a club it took the team a couple of games to settle - Man City didn’t win until their third league game in the post Keegan era, a 1-0 victory over Liverpool. And with this Saturday the third league game for Newcastle post Keegan, maybe it’s a good omen?

Catalan powerhouse saves fortune by being useless

Take a long intrusive look at the losing Chelsea/ Man United fans on Thursday morning, and you’ll notice a deadness behind the eyes. That’s because they have spent the whole evening shouting into a pillow, weeping until their brains can no longer process emotions like “despair” or “overwhelming sadness”, and have instead been left with “numbness” - they are just an empty shell. Even the cheerful people of Cardiff probably spent most of Sunday morning repeatedly punching one another in the nose and yelling in Welsh.

No such self-pity, however, over in sunny Spain