Angry Arsene demands that his players grow

Frenchman Arsene Wenger decided that the reason Arsenal lost to Hull City on Saturday was down to size and declared: “I believe that we have more a size problem than quality in our defending problem.”

Wenger, bubbling with fury, was incensed by conceding yet another goal from a set piece. “Our centre backs are not very tall. I don’t know what we can do… as a team we are a bit short.”

Might The Spoiler suggest buying someone who isn’t a dwarf/elf/child?