Departing Blues boss celebrates with dancing and illegal activity

Unencumbered by inhibition, Guus Hiddink celebrated his final game in charge of Chelsea by performing a merry little jig in the Wembley changing rooms.

The Spoiler can’t help noticing that the Dutchman is also puffing away on a huge cigar - we’re very happy to see authentic impressions of Hannibal from the A-Team, but isn’t it illegal to smoke in a football stadium? Or has Mr Abramovich magically reversed the public smoking laws for the sake of incoming cancer stick lover Carlo Ancelotti?

UPDATE: The press are now picking up on the illegality of Mr Hiddink’s festivities.

[Video: Dirty Tackle]

Even the best have problems, you know…

Great footballers, the really good ones, need a vice. It’s kind of like a yin/yang, pleasure/pain thing. Maradona needed great big buckets of finest cocaine to counter his amazing touch, Garrincha - the legendary Brazilian - insisted on drink driving and having tonnes of animalistic sex to take the shine off his brilliance. And now, it turns out that Ronaldo (the real one, not the poser), likes to temper his natural ability with a cheeky cig on a yacht in Spain.

Phil Neville, you might notice, is squeaky clean.

Joining Ronny on his luxury boat were his pregnant lover Maria Beatriz Anthony, and a load of other people just swanning around in dinky little swimming costumes.

Cigarettes and fast food help Wayne stay fit in his summer break

The Wynn Casino is one of the best in Las Vegas, boasting no less than fifteen award winning restaurants. Guests, for example, may enjoy the Michelin-starred delights of celebrity chef Alessandro Stratta in Alex, or the equally Michelin-starred delicacies avaliable in Chinese eatery Wing Lei.

If your surname is Rooney, however, you’ll probably prefer to nip over the road to the Fashion Show Mall, where the culinary highlights include KFC, Subway and Wendy’s. Stay classy, Wayne.

(Also, congratulations are in order for Coleen and Wayne for staying in Las Vegas for so long. Anything longer than a couple of days would drive most people insane.)

See the picture of Wayne and Coleen tucking into a sumptuous Wendy’s meal right here

Manchester Utd striker’s secret passion for cancer sticks revealed

Despite being an professional sportsman who relies on his fitness to make a living, Wayne Rooney found the time to spark up a coffin nail while staying at the Wynn Casino in the city of sin this week. According to The Sun, the Manchester United striker also joined the pro-footballer smoke club - whose members include Dimitar Berbatov, David James and Zinedine Zidane - during his stag trip to Ibiza.

The biggest concern about this situation isn’t the effect the filthy habit will have on Mr Rooney’s career, but rather his flagrant abuse of smoking etiquette. Honestly, who smokes in a swimming pool? Does he smoke in the shower too? He ought to be thoroughly ashamed of himself.

Milan gaffer can’t go 45 minutes without his beloved cancer sticks

In Italy, one can alleviate the stress of top flight management by enjoying the cool refreshing taste of a filthy mid-game cigarette. Sparking up on the touchline in the UK, however, was outlawed pretty much at the same time as the death penalty and witchcraft. Considering Carlo Ancelotti’s crafty antics at last year’s Celtic/ AC Milan game, he wouldn’t last five minutes in any of the Premier League’s fine smoke-free stadia - so it’s no wonder he has decided to stay ‘loyal’ to his current employer.

Still think Ancelotti will come to West London? Put your money where your persistent opinion is right here, you crazy fool.

[Chelsea Pies]