German-accented moaning overheard at the Bridge

In this deceitful world, The Spoiler feels proud to be discreet. We don’t go around blurting about everyone’s business, which is why we’re not going to tell you which talented German in the Chelsea ranks has got his knickers in a twist over playing for the club. The brunette in question has been rocked by the arrival of Deco, Lampard’s lack of departure, and is apparently facing another season attempting to break free from the bench. After a decent season, he probably thought he’d proved his point, but the whisper is that Scolari is more inclined to the Lampsie/Deco combo. At 31-years-old, the mystery player’s days in the sun are numbered, so it looks like he might be flying himself and his new wife, Mrs Ballack, to another club/country before the summer’s out.