Captive players aren’t making the most of their trip to the Far East

As men who are only obliged to work for a few hours each day, Manchester Utd’s star players are quite adept at finding ways to while away the hours - Rio Ferdinand spends most of his free time merking, Dimitar Berbatov sleeps until he needs a cigarette and Federico Macheda prowls the streets for ladies who are impressed by a seventeen year old in a sports car.

However, thanks to a combination of terrorism, poor weather and fanatical supporters, Fergie’s men have been confined like prisoners in their luxury hotel in Kuala Lumpur. The Telegraph reports:

Since their arrival last Friday, the United camp has been billeted on its own floor in the Mandarin Oriental, away from the supporters and autograph hunters who spend hours in the hotel lobby attempting to grab a glimpse of their idols.

It is a tale of DVD’s, iPods and sheer mind-numbing boredom for the majority of the players once they have done their training for the day.

Some are lucky enough to be selected

Drogba’s countrymen suffer embarassing Olympic warm up

Last month, unsettled Didier Drogba was insistent that he would travel to the Olympics in Beijing, as the honour of playing a bit part in a competition held with little regard in the footballing world far outweighs representing one of the Premier League’s biggest clubs, apparently.

Le Drog, however, may not be so keen to join his fellow Ivory Coasters after the Under-23 side suffered an embarrassing 2-1 defeat at the weekend, where South Korea keeper Jung Sung-Ryong opened the scoring by belting one in from just outside his own box.

With pollution levels limiting visibility to about thirteen inches in Beijing, expect plenty more goals like this at the Olympiad…

[Pies]

It’s all in the name of hindering their country

Men in South Korea must serve up to 24 months in the military, unless a medical exemption intervenes. Several players in the national K-League decided they much preferred kicking a ball about to getting maimed by a North Korean foot soldier, so they took advantage of the medical loophole and proceeded to dislocate their shoulders. To execute this cunning rouse